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If you had of asked me last year if this was something I would miss I would have said "Are you Kidding, I can't wait to never have to do it again". and now crazy as it sounds, I really miss her nutsness.
I know that this is just one aspect of the first Christmas with out her, and that next year will be better but... right now, just this minute I feel like I need my head examined.
I feel like even though the house is ready and the presents are bought, that it is not truly christmas, that I can't be ready because, the presure is missing. That with out some crazy woman bursting into tears, panic attacks, and silent hostility, it is just not the holidays. I thought about doing it my self... but figured what the hay lets try something new this year :reindeer:/>
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