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Posted by missophelia , 28 March 2013 · 112 views

Seriously, I am starting to wonder if I need to be in the hospital. Today wasn't wonderful. My thoughts were dark.

I did call Dr K, but it was later in the day by the time I needed to call her. She didn't get back to me, but she probably will in the morning.

I have kept myself busy, and now I need to get to bed. I am hoping I can just go to sleep and not lay there and think and feel.

I've been having serious urges to SI, but I haven't. Which is excruciating, that I haven't given in.

I'd like the way I'm feeling to stop. I'd like to feel better, to be back where I was some months ago.

I'd like to just give up. Seriously.

I'm so very sorry for what you're going through and how you feel :( I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain...
I want you to know, that I can totally relate to what you describe. Since my disclosure few weeks ago I'm not myself anymore. And few days ago I started to have urges to SI as well. Yesterday I couldn't resist it. Haven't slept in weeks and my thoughts are very dark and sad.
And I think of giving up every day.

I hope you'll get the support you need from Dr K...

Sending you many unseen safe hugs ((missophelia)) if ok

Sitting with you!
You can do this Miss. I believe in you!
Safe hugs your way!
Mar 29 2013 12:32 PM

Thank you for your words, and your support. I am really sorry you have been struggling, too, and that you couldn't resist your urges. I understand how excruciatingly hard it is to resist and not give in. I am hoping you can at least get some sleep, and maybe that will help ease your thoughts.

Dr K was really good with me today.

Many hugs to you, too. If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me.
Mar 29 2013 12:33 PM

Thank you. You are so encouraging, and I appreciate it. Today has been hard. I hope someday that I can believe in me, the way you believe in me.

Hugs to you, too
Mar 29 2013 01:16 PM
So glad to hear you reached out to Dr. K. It sounds like it was helpful too, which is good. I am thinking of you :hug:
Mar 29 2013 05:20 PM

Thank you. It was good to talk to Dr K today. Helpful, I think. Thanks for thinking of me. :hug:

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    Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.