Pandora's Aquarium: Telling about it after the fact - Pandora's Aquarium

I was so ashamed. I thought it was my fault. I was a bad girl. I got mad at T. I yelled at T to stop lecturing me. She made it seem like I didn't know anything. Like I was stupid or something. I got mad cause T wasn't listening. She was trying to fix everything and make it right. I needed her to reassure me that I was ok and would get through this. She was lecturing. I told her that she hurt me. I wasn't strong enough to come back and it was my fault. That's what it felt like she was telling me. I didn't want that to happen, I really didn't. I didn't know it was happening even though I remember trying to fight through it to get back. T said she was sorry. I cried. I felt so wounded by T. So, betrayed by T. She told me she is fallible. She makes mistakes. She saw me in so much pain she went right to solutions instead of listening to what I needed from her. I feel so rotten. I cussed T out. I told her to go "F" herself. I told her to go to H*ll. I told her I was done with her. I would find another T. :cry:/>
I don't want to find another T. I want her. I am scared she won't take me back now. I am afraid we are finished. I left. I got up and walked out. I was so upset. :bawling:/>
I am so stupid. So So F'n stupid! Why didn't I reach out and get advice first? Why did I fly off the handle? She has been so good to me. I am f*cked up. Really f*cked up. I lost the best T ever. I wish someone would just shoot me. LGF