Jump to content






Photo

I went to visit "my" trees today.

Posted by PrincessVader , 21 March 2007 · 53 views


This has been a busy day for me.

I had two counseling appointments, both of which were needed. Then, instead of going home, I drove to the nearby mountains and visited "my" trees. Of course, they really belong to no one, but I love them, so they are like my babies.

I didn't get out of the car because it was raining, and I didn't bring an umbrella. Still, I felt their nurturing spirits reach down to me inside the car. Also, I knew that they were getting a much needed drink of fresh water.

Last weekend, I reached out to my daughter in pain, and she returned my call Sunday. We talked for two hours, and I felt that I had started to heal after having cried the entire two hours. We talked again Monday, but yesterday, we didn't talk. She had to prepare for a funeral for one of her co-workers. Last night, I had a suicidal thought, but I prayed, and it went away.

My daughter has been very supportive of me, and I am grateful for that, but last night, when I was alone with the asshole living right across the street from me, I lost hope, and the suicidal thought came. Then, I heard G-d say, "I'm here." I asked him to take away the pain because I couldn't handle it alone. Then, the pain and the thought went away. Again, I heard him say, "I'm here." Then, in gratitude, I lit some incense.

It still hurts, but my visit to my trees and the knowledge that my daughter and G-d are there for me are helping.

:tear:

Princess



PrincessVader's Journal

Since I am a writer, I will use my writing to heal. From 17 March 2007 on, I will post my daily thoughts and feelings here. All survivors are welcome to comment. I :wub: hearing from each of you.Welcome to PrincessVader's Journal!This is where I come to heal.17 March 2007Today was not such a good day for me, but weekends are always bad since *it* happened on a weekend. However, I always manage to feel a little better after 2 AM on Sundays. I realized that I had to take an extra capsule of Effexor XR and some anti-anxiety medicine, but at least I could listen to my New Age music and chat with a friend. Occasionally, you will meet some of my spirit guides here. My favorite, "Jabba," who was my second husband in real life, and a dear man, is here most often, giving support. My mother, who passed away in 2000, and Laurie, my soul mate's mother, who passed away in 1999, are here often. Also included are writer Carl Sagan, an elderly chap named Aron and a genuine guardian angel whom I call John. They bring great comfort to me when I am able to "let them in." And Jesus, whom I call Yeshua, of course.Take a bow, Gentlemen and Ladies!Again, Welcome to my Little Healing Center!Blessings,Princess

December 2014

S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
212223242526 27
28293031   

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

1 user(s) viewing

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

Search My Blog

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.