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I want my life back new post 3-18-09

Posted by brokendead , 15 February 2009 · 19 views



I am here to try to find peace and deal with my trama once and for all i am a suvivor but i want healing inside out to live with me and people around me with out the pain disquest and fear that ive lived with all my life since age of a tender child befor i even started school touching began and the rapes began in elementry school i want to be hole again peacefull and i want my life that was taken from me,people who violate us this wy should have to go trew what we do everyday then they would not be so quick to hurt us



You know there are times I want to cry scream yell and hate the world for what my dad did to us and the other to men but it wouldnt change a thing truth is there is nothing that will ever make this right again I just dont se where I am ever going to be hole or free again..

3-18-09 im n the hospital so i cant be here lone i have a plumoniary emboilsum on my right lung and infection now possiable stomach cancer plz pray for me and thank you all for the kind messages...love brokendead aka pat



OMG! I feel sick dirty nasty and like all my hard work to heal was in vain! I called my son in ga to say happy birthday who lives with my attacker(dad)And he answered the phone to say my son was not home....His voice that laufgh ....the.....sick just sick to my stomach.......I dont wanna live like this ......I ant to forget it all now I shold have never called him even though its not my sons faught hes a rape product so i try not to treat him that way but I cant stand hearing my dads voice hell i moved away from ga when i was 18 to get away from him now im 45 it follows me please god help me!!!! :huh:
WE ALL here are special people going trew crying pain nightmares withdraws self hurting so so many to even list but we are more than survivors of rape,incest an abuse and attacks we are super suvivors who have came together as a body to help each othe ,each unique with our own story and pain yet have blended together to help ourselfs and others trew the sharing of our storys and our compassion to help others and love each other with a CLEAN/PURE/HEALTHY LOVE unlike what we have been delt in our past .
So my friend to this I say we deserve hapyness and love and healing and a big hug and a pay on the back from ourselfs because we are good caring people who are all here to heal to help to be there for each other and to do what was no done for us in our past Takeing gentle care of one another!
Mabey im talking to much here but I personially want to say THANK YOU PANDORAS and to all its members for what you are doing here and for being here for every one the way you have been,JJBird thank you especially as you know older wemon are looked at as why dont you shut up grow up suck it up and get over it and lol yea well you and i know thats not the way it works attackers care less about age and rape knows no limit on who it tears apart but jjbird I thank you for being a special person in my healing as I feel ive made a important step in healing trew you and floweringrose so to you both I say a special thank you as you are special people and i do appreciate your compassion listeing to me vent,cry,fuss,giving up,and standing tall you were there trew it all thank you!
Pandoras thank you ! Ladys and men alike here we are special ...we are good people like everyone else just trying to live and be happy ,normal lifes for us are just a little harder to obtain but we are working on it not by any faught of our own that we re in this position but by our own hands we are here to heal and help each other this alone shows and says WE ARE SPECIAL PEOPLE WITH BIG HEARTS WE DESERVE HAPPYNESS!
If ok hugs (*************************************************************)
Thank you ever one for letting me get this out You are super panadoras people
:P :yay: :yay: :yay: :yay: :yay: :yay: :yay: :yay: :yay: :yay: :yay: :P

OMG! I feel sick dirty nasty and like all my hard work to heal was in vain! I called my son in ga to say happy birthday who lives with my attacker(dad)And he answered the phone to say my son was not home....His voice that laufgh ....the.....sick just sick to my stomach.......I dont wanna live like this ......I ant to forget it all now I shold have never called him even though its not my sons faught hes a rape product so i try not to treat him that way but I cant stand hearing my dads voice hell i moved away from ga when i was 18 to get away from him now im 45 it follows me please god help me!!!! :huh:



GOD IS REAL PEOPLE AND HE DOS ANSWER PRAYERS ITS IN HIS TIME HIS WAY BUT HE DOSE ANSWER US THANKS TO HIM IM ALIVE AND WITH NEW HOPE WITH GOD I CAN HANDLE ANY THING!

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