[violetsforpersephone]

How about.. "I've been finding it hard to have sex with you since you told me" from my boyfriend, a few weeks after telling him about CSA.
Jerk.

[sarahsdelicacy]

The first therapist I saw, ten mintues after meeting me --

"You should lose your virginity. You act and talk very much like a child. Starting to have sex will allow you to finally grow up. Do you have a boyfriend?"
"No."
"Do you have a male friend you'd be willing to do it with?"

At this point I left. I cried all the way home and didn't seek help again for two years.

[violetsforpersephone]

Your therapist sounds utterly horrible sarahsdelicacy!

[jdam]

"It's a New Year, you should wipe the slate clean and start over!" WTF, why didn't I think of that sooner? http://www.pandys.org/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/gaah.gif

This post has been edited by jdam: 01 January 2012 - 10:56 AM

[blondie2002]

Cat5, on 26 June 2010 - 10:41 AM, said:

I was reading a comment about the Anti-Rape Condom a female doctor in South Africa has developed, and one of the comments said that women put themselves in "rapeable" situations. What a freaking moron. :angry:/>

Icam. I did not suggest that my cousin bring B to my house. Her dumb@** thought that "brillant" idea up herself. As for W, I was only a kid I didn't know that when he wanted to talk to me that he was planning to **** me.

[gingin]

Read this moments ago on another support page

""Bad men are spiritual graces sent in disguise to teach us, through torment, to love ourselves." ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

stupid peoples I think they are just as sick as people who *R****I loved myself BEFORE IT HAPPENED


God I want to punch the person who came up with this and the person who posted it.

This post has been edited by gingin: 04 January 2012 - 11:42 PM

[gingin]

double post sorry

This post has been edited by gingin: 04 January 2012 - 11:42 PM

[astralvigilante]

"You need to admit that you could have left any time you wanted." - Uhm...no, and NO.

"What you need is to let go of your anger and move towards gratitude! You should be grateful to these abusers for giving you the chance to heal." - I'd be even more grateful if they hadn't given me anything to heal from in the first place.

[Corrigan]

"No one just gets raped, if you got raped, you asked for it." the man who replaced me as vice president of our student pagan association (later he was told to step down after threatening physical harm to one of our members) stated this a lot.

[sarahsdelicacy]

I have to admit I am completely blown away by some of these comments. I cannot believe people have said these things to survivors, it's completely disgusting.

[rainbowrachel]

A month or so after I was raped, at a follow up appointment at my GP surgery
GP - cheer up, it's not the end of the world.
GP - it's been a month now, you need to move on with your life.
GP - why are you even here? what do you expect to get out of coming here? (bearing in mind my GP had asked me to come back for this appointment)
GP - you need to report it to the police, then you will feel better again. how would you feel if another girl gets raped by him?

Seriously wish I had put in a complaint about her. You'd think GPs would be better trained to respond to things like this but apparently not.

[dancergirl587]

Oy.. So many ignorant hatefull people!!!

From a socalled friend/coworker.. when I said that having to go and have STD testing done following the rape was emotional : ex-friend: "Quit being a baby, You're being overly dramatic. All women have to go to the gyno, and you comparing it to rape is offensive."

My so called victims advocate pulled the " I'm sure you'll be more careful in the future" line on me.. As if I was raped because I wasn't careful :P/>.....

My relationship with my mother is strained.. I had my cousin tell her I was raped and wanted to be left alone.. First thing my mother does is show up crying telling me HER feelings were hurt that I didn't tell h er about the rape...

[Why_Not]

Top 10 stupidest comments of my acquaintance sexual assault 4 years ago:

-perpetrator/boss/mentor: initial stages was extremely apologetic, later stating "I think it's brought us closer together" finally threatening that nobody would believe me "never happened".

-lead agent representing me to ensure there were no negative impacts to me at work after discovering I would be moving back to my home city where I purchased a condo: "Did he pay for your condo?"
ALSO when advising me when I responded to the investigator that the perp 'raped' me she said "you don't want to make that sort of accusation, don't use that word"

-Person responsible for deciding the work impact: "Well if he didn't have sex with you I won't fire him"
ALSO indicated in the future to use mediation and counseling services offered through employer to work through issues before they escalate. (guess that's what I should have been thinking about when perp forced himself on me 'oh better call a mediator to avoid the CEO having to hear about my 'personal issues')

-confide in my friends that I was having a tough time so I would be taking a few weeks off work (to avoid triggers around anniversary) friend responds: "how can just take time off like that for no reason?"

-old friend: "if he raped you why didn't you press charges?", "why did you let him in your apartment"

-man I'm foolish to love but insane to think he ever has: "Get your act together", "again with the whoa is me, it's such a turn off", "quit being so dramatic", "you should have thought about that before it happened", "you should have known, I told you he was a creepy guy", "you deserve everything that happened to you", "it's what you do, you fuck guys", "fuck off you were horny, you hung out with the guy you fucked him", "give me a break I've been there I've run the gambit of woman and how they react if they're not into it...I'm not stupid, you wanted it, it's ok", "get over it!", "how can I be with someone who tells me they can't say no", "you cheated on me, how can I trust you"

Edited to add: "just sounds like a convenient excuse to fuck guys/have a one night stand"

This post has been edited by Why_Not: 24 January 2012 - 05:05 PM

[Tara101]

-My ex fiance told me, "it doesn't matter what you wear, I will make you a women in one night" ( i was 19) well in that case i was a women at 6...

-My mom, after my first CSA when i was 5 "that's how dad's show their love to their daughters.." all the time I kept wondering why my dad didn't love me.

-My cousin sis. when I told her another cousin brother of ours tries to touch me down there, her response, " so, he was a teenager, teenage boys get curious you know?"

-My ex boyfriend, before raping me a**l " I slept with a prostitute so that i can do it right on you"

-My aunt. "why didn't you confort your mom 2 years ago when your dad was around, now she is alone and suffering alone." Like hello aunt, I was abused when I was 6 years, old and no one listened..

-A school friend on Fb ( i dont put my pic. on profile, messages me.. " are you still fat like you were in school" my response " Yes i ate so i could stay away from the monsters who raped me".. His response " lol, you are funny." My response, " I was raped when i was 6, NOT FUNNY". of course he is in my block lists now..

I am so overwhelmed how people think that it is funny and try to minimize it like some one stole your candy and its no big deal. I read about people everyday here. WE DONT DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS, we are not candies, WE ARE LIVING BREATHING HUMAN BEINGS, WHO DESERVE BETTER.

safe ((( hugs))) to everyone who is okay with it.

Tara 101

A survivor, learning to survive.

[watchemilysing]

From my first boyfriend when I told him about my cousin: "Kids do that; sometimes they experiment."