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"These demons are doin' jump-n-jacks, man!"

Posted by Shining_On124 , 25 May 2011 · 81 views

I went to Planned Parenthood yesterday for routine STD checks and to check out some rash that had appeared.

I was able to do the HIV test without passing out (cuz you know, I hate needles, shots, and getting my blood drawn - but fortunately this was just a prick on my finger). I thought that was a big accomplishment on my part, so yay! I also tested negative.

The rash turned out to be just bumps from shaving, haha. I felt kind of foolish for going in there over that, but the nurse said, "It's good you came in to check! No worries."

Then she reviewed my medical and abuse history, and asked if I had been in any abusive relationships, past or present. I told her not currently, but in the past. She asked what kind of abuse, I told her "sexual".
She told me I didn't have to tell her what type, but what was it?
"Rape. 5, 6 years ago."

She told me that legally they had to fill out a form, sort of a police report. If the police decided to pursue it, they would contact me.
Then she asked me some questions about him. I only listed Michael, because I know where he lives and his full name. I gave her some information (birthdate, etc) on him and she wrote it down, also taking down my mother's information.

I was a little shaken up by that in the office, and practically cried when she asked me about the first offense, which I told her about. I had to go into some detail, "he raped me" wasn't enough - I told her that it had happened in the summer, after we took a shower....that yes, he forced himself on me. I was sitting on the bed and he forced himself on me. He was taller, bigger than me so I couldn't push him off. I was almost in tears. She said that was all she needed to know, and again, that if they decided to pursue it or had more questions, they would contact me.

I had some peeved text messages from my boyfriend one saying, "if I come with you again, can you please tell them to let me back there with you? They were waiting for you to let them know, and I don't like being in the waiting room with all those people, or out in the hot sun with idiots." and then, "I'm not coming back again" and I knew he was pissed). He had gone with me and waited in the room, but left to get some food before I was called back.
Since they called me back so suddenly, I didn't have a chance to tell them to let him back with me.
He seemed really mad at first, I had 7 texts and two missed calls.

We talked on the ride home, and he explained that he was just worried about me - "at least I was with the doctors in a safe place," I told him. Then I got uneasy and started crying, getting sort of mad with him. I told him about the police report I had to do, and how upsetting it was. He apologized and said he was sorry he couldn't be there for me, and he didn't mean to get mad, but he was worried about me. He didn't want them to draw blood, have something happen, and then have no one to contact about it. I'm glad he apologized.

I'm still a bit stressed about it - especially right after I got home). My boyfriend left to his friend's house, took my car (his is in the shop), so I was alone. I vented through music and took the time to write all this out.

I know they had to send in the report, I just wonder what will come of it.
What if they call him?? I don't want to have any contact with him, but if they do decide to pursue it, I don't think I'd be mad...I just don't want to see him at all, let alone talk to him.

February 2016

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