Grandma (TW: CSA, PA)
I said in my story that I spent a lot of time at my grandmother's during my childhood, and that's how I wound up experiencing CSA from her neighbor. I didn't talk about how she used to physically abuse me. But I started having nightmares about it and now I have to get it off my chest. I guess my subconscious doesn't think I'm done yet.
I always had a lot of chores when I was at her house. I'd have to get up early and mow the lawn, get the paper and the mail, basic yard work stuff, etc. She was kind of old school Irish and I think she grew up in the South (of the U.S.) so chores and housework were big on her priorities. And when we would get in trouble, we would get spanked on our bare asses. That's how it was. It usually wasn't really extreme, but sometimes it would get out of hand. On more than one occasion I was hit with a gigantic wooden spoon so badly I was bruised. I was also hit with a belt, wooden switch, and probably a few other things. I don't believe my parents are aware of the extent of the corporal punishment.
Anyway, there was one time, after I was abused by her neighbor, I went back to her house. I went into my bedroom and I was examining myself, I think I thought I was bleeding, and she walked in and found me looking at my genitals. I believe she thought I was masturbating. With my pants still down she grabbed me by the ear, sat down on the bed, and pulled me over her knee. She spanked me. Hard. After I'd been anally raped just a short time ago. The pain was excruciating. When she was really angry, she wouldn't stop until you stopped crying. I think at some point I just shut down and stopped.
I really don't know what to do with this memory.