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First Blog Post (yes, so creative I know)

Posted by annieb727 , 08 April 2013 · 46 views

Blogging...well I love to write, and I'm pretty good at rambling...so we shall see where this blogging thing takes me.

I've been travelling a rough road lately, as I am sure so many here can relate to.

In July of 2012 I left an abusive relationship...a marriage of almost 12 years.
In the process I had to leave my two boys with their father until the end of the school year.
At which point all three of them are moving up here (currently five hours away from them)

The boys are safe with him. If I thought otherwise, I would get them out of there at any cost.

It was me that wasn't safe there.

Anyway, I found this website last week, and I have been reading, and finding all these categories that I fit into.
And I am realizing I carry a lot of guilt and feel a lot of shame and responsbility for my abuse -- not only as a child, but as an adult as well.
The reasons I have these feelings of guilt make sense...though I am not at a point to discuss that. I even emailed my T and told her that I had these feelings of guilt and shame and they have just recently become very apparent, but I also said that I don't know if I am ready to discuss them.

It was suggested that I journal about these things, but I can't even do that. It's too overwhleming.

I have a feeling this healing and recoveyr process is going to take a long time. I wish it didn't have to.

Well that's it for now...and for tonight. I am ready for bed.
Thanks for reading...hopefully I can post something more insightful and inspiring soon...hopefully I will be feeling more hopeful and inspiring soon. Certainly not feeling that way presently.


August 2015


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