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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!
There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
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What a month it's been... I left off saying I was going to start making changes to be independent. I started working out and trying to watch what I eat. This wasn't for weight loss but more for feeling better and less exhausted. My boyfriend and I had a huge fight last month about his problem chatting up girls online, there wasn't much solution after that because I ended up losing my job a week later. Thankfully my ebay project took off, not enough to cover all my bills but enough to keep me going. At this point I'm just so desperate to find a decent paying job so I won't have to depend on anyone else. It's not possible for me to go back home because my mom abused me as a child and I find it hard to even be in the same room as her, and most of my good friends have moved or aren't in a position to put me up until I'm back on my feet.
I think my boyfriend and I could use at least a small break from one another. Because of all the stress my mood swings have increased, back when I was seeing my old therapist she mentioned how I might consider being treated with pharmaceuticals. That's pretty much what has come to my attention now, even my boyfriend has started opening up and discussing his problems with my moods. I guess it's confusing because I don't feel like possibly having a mental disorder merits his bad behavior but it does make me see the 50/50 aspect of things going wrong between us. I've started to have physical reactions with my moods. It's so scary...I don't hurt anyone but I did break my side table. I lose sight of what I'm saying and what I'm doing and then I come to and I'm just crying uncontrollably on the floor. The other night I thought I saw something in the corner of my eye and I nearly jumped up to the ceiling, then I started to shake and I had to walk around in order to calm down. My boyfriend chased me outside and I started yelling for no reason. When I'm like that no one can touch me, I flinch and get defensive. I feel like I'm going mad, my paranoia is out of control lately...Why is there always a problem? Am I just completely losing my mind? I'm so lost. I can't afford therapy, no one has called me back for a job interview, my boyfriend and I are at each other's throats..I'm losing a lot of faith.
I think my boyfriend and I could use at least a small break from one another. Because of all the stress my mood swings have increased, back when I was seeing my old therapist she mentioned how I might consider being treated with pharmaceuticals. That's pretty much what has come to my attention now, even my boyfriend has started opening up and discussing his problems with my moods. I guess it's confusing because I don't feel like possibly having a mental disorder merits his bad behavior but it does make me see the 50/50 aspect of things going wrong between us. I've started to have physical reactions with my moods. It's so scary...I don't hurt anyone but I did break my side table. I lose sight of what I'm saying and what I'm doing and then I come to and I'm just crying uncontrollably on the floor. The other night I thought I saw something in the corner of my eye and I nearly jumped up to the ceiling, then I started to shake and I had to walk around in order to calm down. My boyfriend chased me outside and I started yelling for no reason. When I'm like that no one can touch me, I flinch and get defensive. I feel like I'm going mad, my paranoia is out of control lately...Why is there always a problem? Am I just completely losing my mind? I'm so lost. I can't afford therapy, no one has called me back for a job interview, my boyfriend and I are at each other's throats..I'm losing a lot of faith.
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