im gonna regret this in the morning

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im gonna regret this in the morning

30 September 2011

Posted by Zelda

I haven't posted for a while.

I had a couple of beers tonight. (for me it doesn't take much)

The night before last I had some whiskey - I had it in my place because someone gave it to me. I share a bottle of wine socially and it's fine.
But after some whiskey I raged at someone.
I was correct in my stance but way overboard in my behavior.

When I am alone and drinking - rare rare thing I stress.

Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde.

Why on a purely scientific thing I wonder - does this happen.

What does alcohol have to do with bringing forth this pure hellish rage. How do I manage to live day to day with all of that apparently lives inside me?

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4 Comments On This Entry

Because alcohol is disinhibiting so more alcohol= less self control. Doesn't mean you feel so much differently when you're sober... Just that you're more able to keep a lid on the more over the top responses. Thinking of you and hoping you feel better in the morning. :hug:

MaybeJoleisa, 30 September 2011 - 08:59 PM

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I'd still like to know biologically, where is that part of the brain and why does alcohol hit it up.. It felt pretty good on some level, I said brilliant things (mostly F-U) but it felt both powerful to be angry and very very painful all at once. Thanks for the kind thoughts MJ.

Zelda, 01 October 2011 - 07:26 AM

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Are you normally the type of person who keeps every-thing bottled up inside no matter what any-one does or says ? I know how powerful it must feel to be able to freely express those thoughts and not worry about any-one being offended and I assume that because we censor our-selves so much in real life, some-times the presence of alcohol or drugs almost gives us permission to say and do some-thing we normally would not be able to do. I think that part of the brain just needs to grow stronger through practise though. May-be practising saying/doing what you want once in a while and not sticking to the rules of social-norms expected of you will allow that rage to cool off a little bit so it doesn't have to express itself only when some foreign substance is circulating your body...?

Either way, I hope you will be better and won't be hard on your-self for raging at this person. I'm sure they will blame it on the alcohol either way, but realise you have a right to your voice, as well. Even if it is occasionally an angry one. http://www.pandys.or...fault/winky.gif

stealing_wonderland, 01 October 2011 - 07:19 PM

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I think when we are so used to having to keep everything inside, anything that loosens us up, is going to make us explode. I've done it myself. Be gentle with yourself. I am thinking of you

chelirach, 04 October 2011 - 05:55 PM