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When is it my turn to be happy?

Posted by blondie2002 , in Life In general 21 May 2013 · 135 views

I'm tired of feeling like nothing ever wants to go my way, :down: Example #1: I haven't had a job since 2008, and I've gone through VocRehab (it helps people with disabilities find work) I can't count how many times, with little success. :down: So, I don't really have much to keep my busy outside of my apartment, and I don't get much social interaction, so when I "do" get to hang out with my friends, I feel akward. :down: :tear: When is it "my" turn to be happy. :tear:



You poor sweetheart. I am so sorry you feel this way right now! You have value and worth beyond what you can see for yourself. Sometimes, it is so difficult seeing everyone you know pressing forward, moving on, and personally finding it difficult to accomplish the simplest of tasks.

You DO deserve happiness. Never doubt that. If anyone deserves it, it's you. Just keep trying and don't give up on yourself. You are always kind and thoughtful. I know that's not much, if I knew how to be that "out there" kind of person, I would tell you how it's done. Just know that you have infinite value. Wear that knowledge like a suit of confidence-imbued armor when you leave the house. I believe in you.

:blanket:
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blondie2002
May 21 2013 09:42 PM
Thanks Gar. I just feel like I get pushed aside, just because of my inability to drive. (I ask my mom if she can take me somewhere, and she useually says "can we do it tommorow"? Or" can you have someone else take you or reschedule". :down:/> I can barely even socialize because I can't drive. Meanwhile, my 17 yr old sister has reportedly dropped out of high school for the 2nd time, but yet still has her drivers license. How the :cursing: is that fair or right?
It's not fair or right! This is what I have learned, however: those who have it easier, NEED it easier. That's been my experience. I don't know if it's a universal truth, but that's how it looks to me every day. The weak, selfish people in my life have their way paved for them. All they have to do is walk down the damn road to get what they want. People like us have to go buy the equipment, level the road, buy the blacktop, pave the road, wait for the rain to stop and let it dry before we can get down to Smith's to buy a carton of milk. You may not have gone as far as you would have liked at this point, but you have learned SO much more than the easy way people; they just never have to learn these things. Or anything that truly matters.

That said, I know it hurts. It does just seem so unfair. And I know you feel isolated. I wish there was something more I could do, but hang in there and don't give up on your dreams. Joseph Campbell told us, "Follow your bliss." That means to go in the direction that life is calling out to you. Sometimes, there are so many louder, meaner voices than your own, that it can be close to impossible to hear your own song. Wait for those quiet moments when you can hear you and feel that solid feeling within. That is you. That is who you are; not the girl who can't drive, but the girl who can fly.

You have helped so many people here, no doubt even saved lives, that when I hear you feel so discouraged, it's just not right for you to have to feel this way. I think of George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life when he says, "Ya! What's in it for me?!!!" for the first time in his life. he says that right before the miracle of finding out how loved and valued he is. I hope your miracle is on its way. We all need to feel valued.
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blondie2002
May 22 2013 01:14 AM
Thank you for your kind words, I feel so much better.
Lots of safe :blanket: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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blondie2002
Jul 30 2013 07:40 PM
thanks Garmarna, sorry my reply is almost 3 months late. :lol:

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