Pandora's Aquarium: my extra credit paper for Early Childhood :D 3/25/12 - Pandora's Aquarium

I loved the film for the Sexual Assault/Abuse Awareness for men/boys. I didn't like the speaker though, he's a therapist of SAS, and he didn't seem to know how to answer anyone's questions, and he also wasn't very empathetic towards any of the women/men that were there. I would say out of the 150 people that showed up, that there were about 5 men, and 3 boys.
I thought that the film was very courageous, especially for the men who told their stories, although one man in the audience was mad because almost all the men in the film never talked about assault/abuse with a women. Only about one of the men mentioned a women as their abuser/attacker. I told my mom before the film, that i was nervous to hear the men's stories, because I was emotional from not having taken my anti depressant that day, but I did good and i didn't cry :)/>. ha-ha.
Most men talked about their abusers being: pastor's, babysitters, family members, and even strangers. Mostly they all talked about being raped, and how no one would help them, or if they tried to go to therapy for the abuse/assault the person on the other line of the phone would think that they were perpetrators, when that wasn't the case at all.
I was raped at the age of 6, sexually abused at 10-15 and almost raped again at 19, by 4 different people (a babysitters son, my dad's girlfriend he had at the time, my dad, and my ex boyfriends brother). I joined this website in July 2011 for Sexual Abuse Survivors that I came across online. It's www.pandys.org & i love it so much. I go to group therapy and individual therapy at Sexual Assault Services. I have helped in volunteering for the awareness, such as volunteering for the mini golf awareness day for sexual abuse at Krystal Falls Mini Golf Course. I just want to help myself and help others, because helping others helps me cope, and heal with my past. In may 2011 I was hospitalized for Suicidal Ideations because of my abuse. I was tired of feeling like everything was my fault, so I figured I wouldn't have to deal with the pain and guilt anymore if I just died. I have been out almost a year now :D/> and I'm so proud of how I've come with my past, and even though I'm still dealing with a lot I'm doing it. Its really hard to have early childhood classes because sometimes when we talk about abuse certain things trigger me, or things like certain smells, vehicles, ect. No one really understands that, unless they've been through it. I have anxiety attacks sometimes, and I call someone when I leave class at night because I'm scared of the dark, but mostly because I'm afraid of getting attacked/raped.
Well I'm sorry I just loaded all of that one you, but I think if I told you some of my story that it would help me heal even more, and you could see how far I've come in life, and how far I'm going to go!

Thanks again for helping me make this aware!