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this may be long but I would like some advice please :)

Posted by stronger98 , 03 January 2014 · 166 views

My Older Brother Has Never Had A Good Life. I"m Not Over Exaggerating. Being Completely ,100% Honest Here. His Life Has Always Been a Bad one, Starting At Day one.

Born Two Months Premature At 3Lbs With Cerebral Palsy; He Has Always Had Wrecked Vison, a Short Leg, Asthma, Motor Dexterity And Been In And Out Of Leg Braces For TIp Toe Walking His Whole Entire Life. The Kids At School, A Few Teachers, Relatives And Babysitters Were Never Nice To Him Because Of It. Throughout Grade School He Experienced Alot Of Bullying. Everyone Avoided Him.The Kids Called Him Stumpy. WheN He Was In Seventh Grade He Got Assaulted, Really Bad And The School Did Nothing. He Ended Up Having To Transfer To A New School Half Way Through The Year....The Bullying STill Continued. A Few Relatives Would Tell Him His Disabilities Were Out Of Sin And That He Was Being Punished By God.

He Lost His Mom On His First BIRTHDAY. But Not To A Physical Death. To An Emotional One. He Lost His Once Caring Nurturing Mother To Organic Brain Syndrome And Paranoid Schizophrenia. She Got Into An Accident That Changed their Lifes Forever. FOREVER. He Was PlaceD With Two Crappy Babysitters When He Was Five Years old. Each Married. One Had Kids. Lots Of Kids, All Boys. One Family Would Drink And Smoke Pot InfRont Of Him. They Were Chain Smokers And Would Blow These Fumes In His Face, As Of Doing These Illegal Things InfrOnt Of A Child Was Bad Enough. They Would Hit Him WhenEver They Were High Or Drunk.The Other Babysitters Were Much Much Worse. They Would MakE Him Eat Away From The Family. Go Outside In Bad Weather With Minimal Clothes On, Sometimes He Had To Sleep Over Night Outside In The BItter ColD. They Would Let Their Kids Do What Ever They Wanted With Him. They Would Enjoy Biteing Him Up And Down His Arms, Eventually As They Hit Middle School They Had A New Thrill: Sexual Assaults Were Their New Thrill.One The Boys Was Associated With A Gang. THis Group Of Sixteen/Seventeen Year Old Boys BeaT Him Up And Threw Him Into A Stream. He Didn't Know How To Swim. He Almost DieD, He Would've If A Stranger Didn't Fish Him Out And Call 911. By Age Twelve He Moved Back Home With His Parents, Where His MOm Would Repeaditly Tell Him She WisheD He Was Never BoRn, Hit Him And Scream Loudly Right Up In His FaCe. Her Screams Shake The House. When She ScreamS You Want To Duck And hide.

Shortly After He Moved In With Them, Mom Found Out She WAS Pregnant With Me. I Got AdoptEd. If You Want To Read My Story Go To My Overview PagE, It Explains The Whole Adoption.

My Brother Sexually Assaulted Me And BeaT Me Up When I Was Five. I Have Since Than ForgiveN Him. But He Began To Sexually Abuse Me When I Was Around Thirteen, Ending This October. I Feel Like I Shouldn't Be Mad At Him For The Years Of Abuse He Put ME Through Considering All He's Been Through. He Has Felt Low His Whole Life That's Why He Hurt Me. I Don't Know What To Do. I Love HiM. I Miss Him.I Want To Kick ALL His Abusers Square In The Face For What They Did To Him. INfact IM Planning On Hunting Then Down And Confronting Them In The Near Future. I Empathize With Him. I Feel His Pain, I Have Put Myself In His Shoes My Entire Iife. I Was Never Mean To Him. I Love Him. I Want My Big Brother BaCk, But Know Things Will Never Be The Same Between Us Since He Began To Molest me. Any Advice Out There? HAS ANYONE BEEN THROUGH SIMILAR CIRCUMSTANCES WITH THEIR ABUSERS THAT HAVE TOUGH LIVES?



I am sorry for all you and your brother have gone through. It sounds so hard for both of you. I think you are remarkably compassionate to be able to put yourself n your brother's shoes and try to understand his pain. I understand loving someone who abused you. My father was my abuser and I have love for him too. I haven't gotten through all the anger yet, but I do feel sorry for him and wonder what his experiences were (he is deceased so I'll never know). I do think that even though you have empathy for your brother,it is okay to be angry with him at the same time. Sometimes it is really hard to feel anger. I think that it would be possible to have some kind of relationship with your brother. I just hope you will keep yourself safe. Maybe meet him in public places for coffee or for a walk, maybe only see him when a friend or family member is also present? Can I ask if your brother has acknowledged that what he did was wrong? If he hasn't I imagine it would be very hard to trust him at all. Thinking of you, Mary Beth
He Had Acknowledged What He Was Doing Was WronG Numerous TImes, He Even Apoligzed A Few Times; But He Would Continue Molesting Me Anyways... For Three Years. The Last Time He Sexually Abused Me Was This Past October. I Haven't Seen Him Since.
Thank You For Sharing Your StOry About Your Father, That Really Helped :) Did He Ever Admit To What He Did?
My abuse with my father lasted until my late teens. It did not stop until I was in college. We never did talk about it or acknowledge it. It is sad that your brother recognized that what he was doing was wrong but continued to do it anyway. Please be careful with him. I would hate for you to be hurt again.
IM Sorry That Your Father Never Acknowledged Nor Admitted To WHat He Had Done. Thank You And Yes I Am Being Very Careful With Him, I Haven't Seen Him Since The Last Time He Abused Me, We Have A FamilY Party In Two Days(My Parents Know What He Did, I Cracked After He Hurt Me The Last Time) My Parents Won't Leave My Side At This Gathering. Stay Strong <3

dont have any advice, just take care the best you can :metoyou:

Thank You Ravel :)

I understand, I think, what you mean, stronger98.

 

I seriously wonder what kind of life my abuser has had, what kind of parenting he'd had, how often he'd been the mistreated child who was ignored.  I don't ever want to see that man's face again, but my heart won't let me categorize anyone as all-bad.  If I understand you right,

I can relate to your ability to see the shades of gray, even in things as hurtful as abuse.

:metoyou:

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