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Finally saw my T today.

Posted by mockingbird , 21 April 2010 · 75 views

Two weeks. That's a looong time to go without seeing your therapist when you're sixteen and you live with the man who hurt you for six years. Maybe it's just a long time for anyone. It was good, I guess, an hour goes by so damn fast when you're with the only person that gives a shit. She cries sometimes when I tell her stuff. I mean not sobbing or anything, but still. She cares. That feels really good. She saw a bunch of burns on my leg. I kinda lied at first and said they were bug bites. She did not really believe me. So I told her what actually happened. We actually talked a lot about SI. I think she saw some cuts on my leg too. It makes her sad, I can tell.

I was totally resistant all session but I hadddd to tell her the thing I kept remembering, it was too much you know? So, I told her I had to tell her and we literally had FIVE minutes left. So I did really fast, and it was almost definitely a mistake. Like, I'm glad it's off my chest, but telling somebody your biggest secret, that your dad made you have intercourse with him, in five minutes and then not being able to talk about it? Poor choice. I guess I'm glad it's off my chest now. She didn't even have time to say anything. I wonder what she's thinking. I'm scared :(. I emailed her and asked her but she probably won't say that much. She'll want to wait. I'm so freakin' anxious though! So, I have decided to enlist all of you fabulous Pandy's people in helping me decide what she thought. She already knew some of it, but she thought it stopped at third base.



July 2014

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