Pandora's Aquarium: i have been told i am ugly many a time and i am starting to really believe this - Pandora's Aquarium

for the past 2 years now, i have been discreetly using dating sites, in the hope of meeting a lady who i can form a long-term relationship.
but not one person has taken a liking to me or has even posted to me showing interest.

i know my confidence is very low but i never knew it was this bad.
i was never confident about my looks even when i was younger, but another factor that has crippled my self esteem is hair loss.

i used to be very very fit and getting pretty muscular until i fell into drugs and drink.
my weight disappeared and my fitness level etc.

i used to be liked by women but i am so lost lonely and at my wits end with a fair few people.

i wish i never spoke openly about my abuse when i was 17 turning 18. 17 years ago now.
my posts i shared on here that the newspapers wrote for me shows how much ive had ot take from people. i even left facebook last week and never to return as this was when , the most recent of being called an ugly b, and a sad lonely abuse victim.

i never rose to that when she done this, her and 2 other sisters but even though i never showed a reaction to them, deep down its started to pull me down and it just seems to be adding up now to be quite honest.
if i am not getting any interest shown towards me on these 3 dating sites i am still a member of and no relationships these past 3 years, then something is wrong and if its me who turns peoples stomach then i wont be on this earth much longer.

why do people lie when they tell you , you are not ugly, but very good looking. they are just telling me what they think i want ot hear, rather than just come out with it and tell me yeah you'e not very attractive at all. least then id know bloody well what im dealing with.