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Anybody else have weird triggers? Want to list them? (yes, *trigger warn*)
Posted 10 June 2004 - 03:51 PM
It was mentioned earlier on and I can't believe I forgot it as spiders really trigger me badly. I have always hated them but this is more than that. I didn't see any spiders 'during' or anything but one of my worst recurring nightmares is
that I cut off his head, it grows legs turns into a big spider and crawls inside me, between my legs
**********end of t***********
so now whenever I see a spider it totally sends me into a panic. I also think (for some insane reason) that somehow he's sent the spider to watch me or that it will tell him where I am.
Yep..I'm a nutcase! :P/>
edited for shameful spelling!
Posted 11 June 2004 - 06:42 PM
~~ wearing sexy clothes, but i recently got over this 1...but i can only wear some in public when my fiance is around
~~ r*pe or sex scenes in movies or tv
~~ any songs by Papa Roach - he played the CD (the 1 with the roach on the cover) while he did this
~~ being alone at night
~~ a dark room
~~ any guy touching my stomach or face
~~ a guy telling me i'm beautiful or sexy (i'm almost over this, as long as it's just my fiance)
~~ hearing a guy breathing heavy, even on movies or after he was running or whatever
~~ the Matrix (the 1st movie)...he was playing this along with Papa Roach CD when he was r**ing me.
~~ their names...which i hate, cuz my fave name used to be the name of 1 of the guys who did this to me
Posted 11 June 2004 - 08:59 PM
I also hate prickly facial hair. This is a new development. I used to be ok with it, but anything prickly near my thighs triggers the hell out of me and i cant control it.
Argh Im all pissed off now thinking about it. EW EW EW!
Posted 12 June 2004 - 06:27 PM
-men with deep voices
-if i get really tired and just let myself literally fall into
bed the sensation of falling and landing on my back
really freaks me out. i've only done that once and
that's when i found out it freaked me out.
-if i walk into a room that has light and all of a sudden
the lights go out i have to force myself not to cry. that
happened during the blackout last summer. there's
Posted 13 June 2004 - 07:06 AM
Movies/TV Shows with R*pe Scenes And/Or Sexual Violence.
Someone coming up from behind me without my knowledge
Movies with High Level Violence
Fire Exits (esp Concrete Stairwells)
Someone holding my wrists
Anything remotely tight around my neck.
(i.e.: Scarf’s, Necklaces, Jumpers)
Having my hands/arms held down above my head
Being Forcibly Pinned down/Unable to move
Knives in close proximity of any part of my body
Older Males under the influence of any drug
Drunk, Older Males
Sex of a 'rough' nature
Being Held Down
Photographs of me (i.e.: When younger)
Suggestions/implying suggestions to take photographs of me in a sexual manner (Yes my ex's have suggested this)
Suggestions/implying suggestions to film movies of me in a sexual manner
News Reports about r*pe, R*pists/Child M*llestors, etc
Small, Cramped, Dark Spaces. (i.e.: Cupboards etc.)
Certain brands of aftershave
Enclosed, Dark places
People I don't know or Trust being too close to me, or trying to touch me
Guns/and or the sound of one
Being called names of a sexual nature (i.e.: whore, bitch, slut...)
Not being able to protect my face (i.e. with my hands)
Being Referred to or having comments made about my body by Older Men
Sudden Movements Around Me When Someone Is Angry
Written depictions of Violence and/or sexual assault
My Hair Being Pulled
Being woken up from sleeping rather suddenly
Males I don't know
Being around anyone angry, even if they are not angry at me
Movement in the corner of my eye, like someone is behind me
Men about 40 years + in particular
Someone putting their hand over my mouth to shut me up
Anyone else holding a cigarette within close proximity of my body
Large Quantities of Blood (my own or someone else’s)
Being in a remotely empty train carriage by myself
Loud footsteps behind me
Discussion Of/Girls who have/ R*pe fantasies
Rooms reminiscent of the Emergency Room In Sydney
(i.e.: same layout)
Being Yelled at
Sunday Night's 10pm (i.e.: If I am aware of this time)
Being referred to as 'Katie'
Posted 13 June 2004 - 10:27 AM
Someone not taking no for an answer and keep pushing me to say yes.
Seeing a cop/police officer (his cop buddies kept helping him to continue abusing me and would harass and threaten me) If I'm anywhere and I see a cop, I totally spaz out.
The movies Sleeping with the Enemy and Enough trigger me very badly. Other movies with violence against women trigger me as well, but those 2 seem to be the worse. Also movies with molestation trigger me as well. I believe I was molested as a child, but I have no memories before the age of 7 except for a couple when I was 4.
Court rooms are often triggers, but not always. Sometimes I can fight it off.
This post has been edited by thesecretme: 28 October 2009 - 06:56 PM
Posted 13 June 2004 - 11:12 AM
-dog leashes(b/c that's what he tied my wrists up with)
-small areas, especially if they have shelves
-hearing the words "Shut up"- no matter how it's said
-people that apologize and don't mean it(while he was raping me, he told me he was sorry he had to do that to me...right...)
-big belts(My uncle always beat my sis up w/ one and I would yell back at him, causing him to sexually abuse me)
-being in a room with a guy with the door locked...
-people grabbing onto me really fast. Like at church today, I was walking really fast and a lady grabbed my arm...
-pushing of any sort, even if playful
-landing on my back
-Coke(the soda...I DO NOT do drugs...)
-cool hard and smooth cement floors
-getting hugged from behind...extra *t* warning on this one- b/c I always feel like they're going to sodomize me, and it makes me panic end extra *t*
-the "shh" motion (finger to their lips)
-comments on my face looking ugly when I cry
-blood and sweat
-his cologne- I have no idea what it was, but I smell it sometimes on other guys
-anything to do with intimacy
-when someone says I look really good in something-- makes me want to change into something I won't look good in. My rapist told me I was cute...so...yeah...
-talking about saving sex until marriage- this one is HUGE for me because I always start sobbing b/c that was my goal and dream and it was ripped away from me before I ever even had a chance to care about anybody in that way. It doesn't seem fair.
-people telling me that they are doing something for my own good
-older men that are nice to younger girls...even if it's just being polite to a waitress and saying "thanks"
-being called b*tch and hearing the F word
-rape jokes and movies and conversations where people say harsh and abrasive things to victims/survivors(whatever you prefer to be called)
-freezing cold AC
-certain types of locks
-being hit kicked or beaten
-doctors and nurses.
-being in a quiet room away from loud music
-yelling or fighting
well, anyways, that's it for now...I have to go, but the list goes on and on and on...
thanks wonderful thread
Posted 15 June 2004 - 12:35 PM
In addition to a lot of the typical triggers (having hands/arms held down, oral sex, certain positions, knives, etc.):
- smooth round doorknobs
- leaning up against or laying down on a hard flat surface
- certain words (c*nt is the biggie, "beg", "tight")
- certain phrases ("do it", "suck it")
- the smell of vomit or semen
- dark green shirts
- the scent of some kind of aftershave or hair product (I don't know what it IS but I sure as hell know what it smells like!)
- someone gathering my hair in their hands
- angry black male voices
- any breeze across my genital area
- anything squirting in my mouth
- the dentist's hands in my mouth
- Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" (must have been on the car radio or something... not sure)
Posted 15 June 2004 - 01:48 PM
- the dark
- duct tape
- cable ties
- having my mouth covered
- having my head covered
- showers and showering
- flashlights - especially if they are shined in my eyes
- open doors
- closed doors
- my bedroom
- being anywhere with only one exit
- people staring
- not being able to see
- being home alone
- doing laundry
Wow, I have to stop now.
Posted 16 June 2004 - 03:08 PM
Need to get this out....******t******
I was eating a banana one day in front of my father. He says to me, "You know what it looks like you're eating?" I say, "No." "It looks like you're eating a cock." Great, thanks, dad, for fucking ruining banans for me.
Posted 17 June 2004 - 01:21 AM
some kinds of country music/talk radio
anyone with really pale blue eyes
sweatpants - esp. green ones
having my head under water, even in the shower
oh, and my biggest, absolute biggest pet peeve is when people use the word rape in a totally inappropriate context (ex: we got raped in that basketball game). I go absolutely bonkers.
This post has been edited by Cricket: 20 March 2008 - 07:49 PM