out of it again
im getting sick of dealing with people in general. i'm looking at my ingredients list for the cocktail i planned to put together. it's very tempting. CB wants me to go see him. twice i couldn't, hopefully he pulls something together. i want to see him but there's this conference coming up i need to save money for. sister claims she's going but she's busy dicking around hanging with her friends instead of working. she;s not serious about it and i'm not even going to work anymore. she don't care and i told her i quit. i'm sick of supporting her doing everything whle she takes off to party.
the books aren't selling at all. i should just realise i'm a shitty writer. after 600+ rejection letters, i need to get it together and stop deluding myself. my so called dumbass friends lied to me. i don't have any other skills. if my computer wasn't always on the fritz i'd written some games by now. but i never get anything finished.
i hate being poor. i fucking want out of this town but no matter where i move, i'm always in the shit neighborhood being bothered by stupid racist people. i'll see CB first before i do it. i refuse to be 35 and stil that poor loser nobody wants. except for him, no one else will miss me.