She Wants Me Happy
Finally, she spoke. She said it bothered her that all i do is lie down or sleep. She has school. Daddy has his job. What do i do? Nothing. I let her talk, get her feelings out without judgement. All the while she spoke, i thought of how right she was and what could I say? How can I explain it? She does see me pushing myself, getting up, driving places, doing chores, etc. But obviously its not enough. She needs more, and I want to do this for her. But again the question: how do I explain it to her? Even if she totally understood, she is my daughter and she needs me, no matter what.
I hate this recurring thought of desensitization therapy. Talking about it. Details. Smells. Words. Everything. It all seems overwhelming. It seems an insurmountable obstacle. But how the hell can I refuse to do it if it will make me a better person, a better mother???