Jump to content






Photo

I can't leave her! a little creepy...

Posted by crazycatlover , in about my feelings 16 February 2014 · 137 views

this is about my therapist...when I dared to think that maybe it would help me to have a therapist who unlike her has helped people who have been sexually abused before part of me started to tell me all the reasons I can't leave her .some of these might sound a little too much like I'm talking about my girlfriend which makes it kind of creepy...
 
I can't leave her...
because I'll never find anyone else as awesome as she is
because I've been with her too long
because I don't trust anyone else like I trust her
because I love her
because I can't imagine living without her
because I was only able to tell her what happened fairly recently so she just needs more time to help me
I'm scared the real reason is
because I'm still in love with her...



Gosh - I could have written this. I adore my T. I love her and never want to stop seeing her. And this feeling of total dependence and deep desire and need and longing scares the living daylights out of me.......

Photo
crazycatlover
Feb 16 2014 02:49 PM

mand-I'm glad I'm not alone....but I'm sorry you have to deal with these feelings....they are not easy to deal with .

No, they aren't. I started a post somewhere about my issues with my erotic transference with my T. My main horror revolving around the fact that I suddenly realised (and I have discussed this with her) that I was making myself sexually available to her, and if she had wanted to sexually abuse me, I would have let her and probably not even realised what was going on. In fact, I almost was longing for her too. And I am a very happily married woman!!! Still, it gave us a rich vein to explore and then some....still having issues though......Stay strong. Mand

Therapy can form special bonds between us. Barriers need to come down for therapy to work. And we feel the needs we have that haven't been met elsewhere.

 

I am coming to the end of the of my term with my therapist. I'm in a program of therapy for up to a year. I knew I could grow attached to her. And I tried to keep it to a minimum. Not learning more about her even though I wanted to. Even so it will be hard. As the barriers dissolved between us (yes both ways) the attachment grew greater. I don't know how I can just say goodbye when it's over.

 

What you are feeling is normal. 

February 2015

S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
2223242526 27 28

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.