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Posted by bellaroo , 09 January 2013 · 121 views

So much constant panic. So much constant pain. I don't know what to do with myself. I just want to crawl into a ball and cry and cry and cry....I'm just so sad. I wish someone could take it all away. :( I shouldn't have to live like this

i hope you are ok emeraldgreen x.

if you would like to speak about it then you are more than welcome to message me.

my names david x

dont let things get the better of you, keep your head up and remember you are worth it and things will get better for you.

i really do hope you are ok
Easier said than done. But thank you for youre kind thoughts.
Ive been perfectly fine up till the point when I disclosed....then my world went upside down. Im not being pessimistic but this is how life has been for me....I get a small break and then get Shit on. I think its bullshit that my molestor gets away Scott free because he is seeking marriage counselin
.my uncle comitted suicide on 9/9... My dear friend passed 10/29. And her son just committed suicide on 1/5....I can't catch a break...this year was supposed to be good...so far not good.
I am terribly sorry to hear that you hard a rough year. But make sure to let yourself REST. Even if that means to lie in bed and sleep to ease the mind.

Been getting anxiety and was told to cut back, so hurts to see others going through a tough time :[
Last January was when I started getting the anxiety...the panic attacks didn't come till march or so...I've been dealing with it ever since...just something I have to deal with. I was diagnosed with ptsd...so from the sounds of it...it might never go away. Im sorry your going through the anxiety as well
yes i am also really sorry to hear what happened to your uncle and your friend and her son.
i know how hard this is to live with emerald and my heart goes out to you.
i wont go into details about how i relate as this is your post, but if you ever need someone to speak to then im always available.

i wish you the very best and my thoughts and prayers are with you x
post trauma is awful, i suffer from it and because i drunk so heavily and took drugs throughout the years, until i stopped 3 years ago, i never dealt with my ptsd properly until 3 years ago.
slowly but surely things have been coming much better for me now and i am able to deal with everything it has to throw at me.
i blocked everything out from the age of 18 til 32, due to the abuse of chemicals but i am so glad i have faced my illness these past 3 years as its been working.
i still have the few bad days, but the longer and older i am getting and more experience with dealing with the flashbacks, and depression etc etc, i can honestly say life is starting to get so much easier for me now.
fight or flight is very common whilst going through post trauma emerald.
i used to go to counselling for about a year then stop because things got very difficult at counselling. once they started to go deeper into my past, the more i ran. fight or flight, but this is a normal reaction emotion.
please stay with your treatment as if not treated properly, the relapses can be so much harder to come back from.
when i used to go then stop, just kept putting things on hold, but that was how i dealt with it, as i wasnt ready. you may also have this, you may not be ready but it really does help.
i am lucky my counsellors were very patient with me, and very willing to always take me back when the time was needed.
37 times in hospital and multiple times in the general hospital with many a thing. but due to alcohol being a depressant and my ignorance towards stopping it til i get better, i just kept drinking and drinking.
i swore blind id never get better, but i am getting better.
i hope and i wish you the very best emerald and i am speaking the truth as someone who can relate x
Im so sorry david! somedays i wish i could just drink it all away....it would sure as hell make me feel better. Im just at the beginning of my "healing" i guess. I struggle with verbally expressing my thoughts and feelings and alot of people dont understand that so i've "de-friended" them
thats ok emerald, no need to apologise. you're grand :)

theres nothing wrong with verbally expressing your feelings.
its better out than in emerald, so much healthier.

im glad you seem to be in bit better form just now.
i hope you are anyways :)

are you from ireland? or england etc etc

why im asking that is because i was looking to ask you is it freezing with yous tonight?
over here its getting real bad out there. very very cold :/

im glad im all snug in the house here hehe :)
i know there is nothing wrong with it, but ive never been able to speak my thoughts or feelings. my voice has always been taken away from me in many situations. so ive always thought that expressing was bad...im slowly getting better though
:) thats good emerald x

its great when you know things are getting a little easier at times. it helps with focusing on getting better fully.

one step at a time :)

i am going to log out very soon, and thankyou for confiding within me tonight, i appreciate the trust you've shown in me x thankyou :)
hope you have a nice night! thanks for the help
your welcome emerald :) and i hope you have a peaceful night also.

goodnight :) :metoyou:

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