I have survived almost every form of abuse there is and one would think that my life experiences would have made me a very wise and intelligent woman. But you know, I think I don't get life lessons such as can people lie when they are totally shitfaced on alcohol then remember nothing they said or did? Can a pathological liar keep on lying while wasted? I don't get shitfaced but I have enough alcoholics in my family and friends come and gone who did/do. I would think I should know but I don't.
I am pretty sure I did not sign up on purpose for the life lessons I have survived. Who in their right mind would sign up for any of these abusive life lessons? Besides I think I keep flunking and I am afraid of having to keep taking these lessons til I do get it or until it kills me. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. My mother and daughter do not know really how I suffer cuz they have never walked in my shoes and niether one want to hear anything about it.
I also want to drop the listening to others fight 101, pouting 108, feeling guilty for everything 110 and watch other's spend disabled person's money for self gain for the ruse of helping 104 classes. I want to take elective classes such as inner peace and wisdom 101, beachcombing 105 and creativity 101.
I do know two things. The first is when I get my first check for disability with the arrears they will pay (that is if they go along with the state of Colorado that I am indeed disabled) I am buying myself another PC. The second is "no good deed goes unpunished."
Blessings to all