Pandora's Aquarium: If You Were My Sister or Brother... - Pandora's Aquarium

Jump to content

Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.

You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.


Public Forum Notice

Please note that this is a public forum open to guests. Your username, the content of your posts, and your homepage (if applicable) will be viewable by non-registered guests. Your signature, profile, and contact info (including email and messenger screennames) will be viewable ONLY by registered members.
Formatting issues: Please note that several threads here experienced formatting changes several years ago during a board move. Posts in other forums do not have these same problems.
  • 7 Pages +
  • « First
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • Last »
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

If You Were My Sister or Brother... What would you say?

#46 User is offline   raincomedown 

  • she just got sad, then she got stuck
  • Group: Member
  • Posts: 852
  • Joined: 01-May 05

Posted 16 May 2006 - 11:31 PM

I haven't read this thread in a while, but I just did, and now I am sitting here with tears in my eyes! This thread is so wonderful...thank you to my Pandys family for being such loving and supportive people!

:hug:/>

Lisa

#47 User is offline   Miranda63 

  • Group: Member
  • Posts: 72
  • Joined: 12-December 04

Posted 11 June 2006 - 10:52 AM

This is one of the most fabulous threads I have read. I cannot seem to stop the tears. I am tempted to write that it leaves me without words, but that is rare. So here goes.

If you were my sister or brother, I would tell you that your courage humbles me, your strength inspires me and your capacity for warmth, kindness and caring astonishes me.

#48 User is offline   willo 

  • willo
  • Group: Member
  • Posts: 173
  • Joined: 08-January 04

Posted 12 June 2006 - 12:08 AM

If you were my sister or brother, Id tell you that the worst is over that the best is yet to come..
Id tell you that id always be there to love you and support you no matter what. Id look at you with love and ask you if you wanted a hug, then hug you... id encourage you to tell your story no matter what
and id always be there for you.

Id tell you that although I didnt know what it was to be you, or go through what your going through now but that i believed you and would always be there for you...

wonderful thread

#49 User is offline   BrokenAngel_90 

  • A proud Newfie!! :D
  • Group: Member
  • Posts: 1,071
  • Joined: 02-June 04

Posted 12 June 2006 - 07:18 AM

Wow this is an awesome thread!

If you were my sister or brother, I'd hold you in my arms and tell you that it's going to be ok. I'd tell you that no matter what happened it was not your fault, and that I love you very much. I would also tell you that you are so very strong and courageous and did not deserve what happend to you. I would be there for you.

Cassondra xo

#50 User is offline   drifter 

  • Group: Member
  • Posts: 43
  • Joined: 09-April 06

Posted 21 October 2006 - 09:59 AM

If you were my sister or my brother I would tell you none of this is not your fault, and I would remind you just what a special person you are. I would tell you how I'm amazed by your strength and then I would remind you, that you don't have to be strong all the time, that it is ok to have timees when you let someone elese to be there for you, and I would tell you when ever you want me I will be there for you.
Take care
nicola

#51 Guest_Simplybeeme86_*

  • Group: Guests

Posted 21 October 2006 - 03:10 PM

If you were my brother or sister...
I would tell you (as tears threaten to splash down my face) that you are loved and what has been done to you...is not your fault. These nightmares will not last forever. You are valued. You are still you. You are worthy of love and attention. It is okay, it is good to cry. You are beautiful, and the moments you feel that way now...are good. If you were my brother or sister, we'd watch movies late at night and laugh. Because you are loved, valued, and wanted...and what has been done to you...was not your choice, it is not your fault, and you are no less of the person I loved before than I love now.
Liz

#52 User is offline   willo 

  • willo
  • Group: Member
  • Posts: 173
  • Joined: 08-January 04

Posted 21 October 2006 - 03:59 PM

If you were my brother or sister id ask if you wanted a hug, id remind you that you are a beautiful person and that i love you just as much as i ever will, i would offer u a shoulder to cry on and ask if you wanted to come talk with me, that id always be there to listen, when if you wanted to talk or not. I would ask if you wanted a hug or ur fave teddybear
but id remind you that you are important to me

thank you to all my pandy brothers and sisters
willo

#53 User is offline   Faith1987 

  • Group: Member
  • Posts: 33
  • Joined: 25-September 06

Posted 30 October 2006 - 01:30 PM

If you were my brother or my sister I'd look at you and I'd tell you how amazing you are, how your strength inspires me. I'd sit with you and when you were ready I'd hold you close, I'd let you just be. You could cry, you could scream, you could sleep, I'd whisper that I would keep you safe, that no matter what happened there was always a safe place for you with me. I'd bring it to you if you needed me to. We'd look in the mirror and I would tell you how beautiful and special you are until you believed it yourself and you could tell me. I'd know that there was more to you than what happened to you, and I would stay with you until you could see that for yourself. I'd never leave you if you needed me, and I'd know when you did, even if you didn't say a word.

Love to all my Pandy's brothers and sisters, and safe hugs to every one of you incredible, beautiful people.

Faith xxx

#54 User is offline   callonmebrother 

  • Group: Secondary Survivor
  • Posts: 10
  • Joined: 14-December 06

Posted 14 December 2006 - 08:30 PM

Hi all,

I am new to this site and am so glad I found it. This string has really moved me.

If you were my brother (or sister) I would tell you: You did not deserve this. NO ONE has the right to violate you....I am here to listen to you, and am always available to hear whatever is on your mind. I am not afraid to hear what you have to say. If there is anything at all that I can do, please do not hesitate for even a second to ask. There is no task too small or too large that I will not do for you. Each day will have new challenges and new triumphs, and I am here to support you whole-heartedly through it all.

#55 User is offline   Pavitra 

  • I will not destroy myself for your happiness.
  • View blog
  • Group: Section Moderator
  • Posts: 12,751
  • Joined: 27-September 06

Posted 15 December 2006 - 09:21 AM

If I were your sister...

I would hold you and cry with you as long as you needed, any time.

I would let you know that I love you.

I would tell you I'm sorry you hurt, I'm sorry something so precious and sacred was stolen from you.

I would tell you please don't blame yourself, you're not the one who's evil, your abuser/attacker is.

I would tell you, no matter how long it's been, no matter what happened, no matter how your abuser is related to you...

... if someone is telling you to get over it, to forgive and forget...
... if they minimize what was done or compare it to someone else's pain and say at least yours wasn't as bad, you should be grateful...
... if they try to guilt you with "but they're family/your friend/your teacher/your pastor/your whatever, you should let it go, you should reconcile"...
... if someone blames you, says what happened was normal and you're blowing it out of proportion, or refuses to believe you...
... if they accuse you of being un-Christian or a bad person because you won't forgive, because you have PTSD, because you dare to be angry at the person who violated you...

... don't listen to them. Only you and God know how deep those wounds go and only the two of you can determine how long it will take to heal from them, or if you can forgive... even if the answer is that it's indefinite or that you can't. We don't know what the future holds, we only know what we can do for today.

I would tell you that your worth is not based on what this person did to you, even if it seems like it. Nor is it based on whether you are handling this the way you are "supposed" to. We must all walk this journey on the path that has the surest footing for each of us.

Most of all, I would tell you that you WILL see the other side of this someday, that maybe we don't know what that will look like, but you will get there, and I will be with you every step of the way.

This post has been edited by itwas1983: 15 December 2006 - 09:22 AM


#56 User is offline   Maddy 

  • The one who still looks twelve.
  • Group: Member
  • Posts: 354
  • Joined: 16-March 05

Posted 15 December 2006 - 03:54 PM

If you were my brother or sister, I would tell you that you are beautiful, and you have that kind of beauty that can never be corrupted. I would tell you that you are strong and you are brave, and you are an inspiration to me.

#57 User is offline   silent star 

  • Group: Member.
  • Posts: 2,034
  • Joined: 01-December 06

Posted 26 December 2006 - 08:58 PM

if you were my sister or brother I would tell you

that I believe we see who we are as we are mirrored back by other people, just as we see our phyiscal selves in mirrors

and that seeing ourselves through the eyes and voices of rapists and other violators is seeing ourselves throug broken fragments of mirrors that are covered in mud...

the ugliness is in them and not in us.

and although I thought it would never happen, as I have gotten better, I am seeing that for myself I am not the damaged person I thought I was - b/c I found good mirrors (better people) to reflect myself back to me.

#58 User is offline   ButterflyWarrior 

  • Too broken to fix.......
  • Group: Banned
  • Posts: 1,177
  • Joined: 19-April 05

Posted 27 December 2006 - 01:01 PM

If you were my sister I would tell you that simply being you is enough. No apologies ever needed. That you are loved,cared for,cherished and precious. Your pain counts and your healing is on your timeline and nobody elses. That I will be there if you need me. Together we are strong and unstoppable. ~BW~:butterfly:/>

#59 User is offline   bubabug 

  • Group: Member
  • Posts: 40
  • Joined: 15-April 07

Posted 20 April 2007 - 09:31 PM

View Postpixie, on Nov 25 2005, 01:05 AM, said:

If you were my sister or brother... I would ask if you wanted a hug. I would tell you that when you see your reflection in my eyes- you are beautiful, pure, undamaged but wronged. You are more than the sum of your body parts and you have rights. I would try to explain why it wasn't your fault even though you may feel unreasonable guilt. I would tell you that everytime someone RE-victimized you it wasn't because they meant to hurt you. That it was the way our society is and not a reflection on you. That they just don't understand rape trauma syndrome. I would try to prepare you for this world, find you a therapist, take you to a counselor and teach you to make a safe place for yourself in your mind where you can go when you need to.

If you were my sister or brother I would love you no matter what.

pixie



Wow pixie!
That was absolutely beautiful. I find that so many beautiful souls are here online and know that we didn't deserve that type of traumatic experience. However, maybe some horrific things happen that play a role in the master scheme of the universe and have nothing to do with us?

This post has been edited by bubabug: 20 April 2007 - 09:32 PM


#60 User is offline   pixie 

  • I'm making a mosaic out of the broken peices...
  • Group: Member
  • Posts: 7,926
  • Joined: 06-December 03

Posted 20 April 2007 - 09:38 PM

((((((((((((((bubabug)))))))))))))))))) if okay :)/>

Share this topic:


  • 7 Pages +
  • « First
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • Last »
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic


Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.