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I just don't know...

Posted by missophelia , 14 March 2013 · 62 views

Today, someone said "thank you" to me after I told her that I didn't SI. Of course, this is a friend, who is concerned about me.

But her saying that to me, with all of her good intentions and concern, isn't exactly helpful to me.

I just don't know what, if anything, can help me right now.

I feel like I am at the lowest depths of depression possible.

The contradiction is that I am functioning.

Just barely.

Mostly, because I know that if I don't force myself to function, I will sink lower still. And I don't know where sinking that low would take me.

I can't write much more now, because all it will be is a long rambling on about the darkness I feel inside of me.

But yeah, I guess I can check in here. Everyone wants me to check in. "Check in" Like I'm confirming my reservations at some hotel. Check in, yes, I'm here. I'm still here.

I don't know, but I'm still here.



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Untangling-It-All
Mar 14 2013 07:30 PM
I see you struggling more lately. I am so sorry for how hard it is right now. You're going through hell, and you do not deserve to be. I am here, I am listening, sitting with you, and thinking of you.
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missophelia
Mar 14 2013 07:54 PM
Untangling

thank you
missopehelia I'm listening aswell. You have support here. Untangling is right, you don't deserve to be going through these things and feeling this way. :metoyou:
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missophelia
Mar 15 2013 12:14 PM
MissHannah

thank you

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    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

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