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Posted by one.day. , in Rambles 18 April 2013 · 94 views

Hold my hand - what if I let go? - You won't, I'm holding it tight. I'm right by you. Trust me, it'll be okay.

I'm the same age as you were now. When you went to sleep. That's how much time has passed. I don't want to be older than you. Your my big sister.

Just count the stars with me - there's too many - and they are all watching down on us. Keeping us safe.

Do I get to count you? I know I'm not alone, you're with me. Sometimes, I think I can hear you, feel you close, smell your perfume. I'd like to think that's you.

He can't hurt us any more, we got away - he always finds us - not tonight, not anymore.

I know you hurt. Did you know, I never wanted to cause you any pain? I loved you. Some days, I think you got away but others I think you didn't. There is this guilt that engulfs every part of me, to think I didn't save you.

I can't do this. All the pain. This isn't a life. I always thought he destroyed me but that person was always me.

No. No - it wasn't. You carried a guilt that wasn't yours to bear. You saved me. You always did.

wow! this just hit my heart....... im so sorry for you loss? its not your loss i believe your sister will always be with you right by your side..... holding your hand... combing her fingers in your hair at night...... comforting you when you have nightmares....... im just sorry you cant see her right now............ she is at peace in heaven watching you and being with you........ she wants to see you happy and grow old and be at peace..... you will be with her one day......... when you grow old and pass away ........... you will still be her baby sister right by her side.......
I want to say happy birthday if that's okay because i know i am a big sister and i would want it that way...
Thank you, it just seems so strange. I never really thought that I would reach her age as silly as that sounds. Thank you, your kind words really touched me. I like your bit about not seeing her but that she's there. I'd like to think she was. I know she would be shouting at me and laughing at some of the stupid things I've done :).

Apr 18 2013 10:03 PM
Wow, this was really powerful. I'm sure she appreciates those beautiful words.
I'm also an older sister and I just want to say that she's so lucky to have a little sis like you. You are incredibly strong one.day.
Thank you Lotus Flower - :metoyou: I don't know if she would be ashamed of me.
May 25 2013 06:00 PM
This is powerful. I doubt she would be ashamed of you.
How are you doing?

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