Numbness towards my predator.

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.

You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.

Numbness towards my predator.

27 December 2012

Posted by Dasein

Is it normal to feel completely numb toward my rapist? I guess it feels odd for me because he was a childhood friend i knew for about 10 years. whenever i think of him and what he did to me, i cant muster or feel any emotions. No hate, anger, sadness, etc. I think of him and i feel absolutely nothing, yet I find myself terrified of him ever coming to find me, or running into him. i feel like i should hate him for what hes done, and i think some where deep, deep down inside that i do, but im having difficulty channeling any emotion besides absolute fear of his return.

Share This Entry:

Back to Dasein's Blog →

2 Comments On This Entry

how do i revive my feelings and begin to heal ????????????

Dasein, 27 December 2012 - 01:12 AM

Report

You know, I feel the same way about my aggressor. He was my friend and for months after I admitted that what he did to me was wrong, I felt nothing towards him. My T tells me that he is the one to blame and cruel, but somehow I didn't register any resentments towards him. Instead, I sometimes feel like I miss him! It bothers me that I feel this way, and I just get so angry with myself for it.

I know I'm not really helping, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in feeling this way