Pandora's Aquarium: just another day in fucking paradise..... - Pandora's Aquarium

everyday seems like its an endless battle. If its not one thing its another.I wish sometimes I never wouldve told, It was so much easier burrying everything. I was so much happier when I could pretend I was never molested. But since ive disclosed my real family hates my guts...It just makes me so sad to think that a year ago we were such a close family and now I have nothing close. The most contact I get is when they need something. My Close friend trish, to me was my mother, she was supportive and loving, how a mother is supposed to be...yesterday was 2 months that trish has been gone, she was a huge support system for me! losing her was huge, I still am shocked that she is gone. I put so much stress on her, making her worry about me, she shouldnt have had to worry so much. I shouldnt have put my problems on her like I did, Thats why theres therapist, i guess... :(/> But then sometimes I think if i shared what I feel people would think im crazy. Im really hoping for a pain free day, a day when i dont need to worry about anything, a day when I dont have panic attacks and when i can get some good sleep. :gaah:/> what do i have to do to be happy again?!? :bawling:/>