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5~30~2011

Posted by BikerWife , 30 May 2011 · 90 views

Having a rough time today really bad...me and the hubby got into an arguement this morning really stressed me out and it's over stupid stuff too, we're fine now just both stressed out to the max. We had my stepdaughter, her boyfriend, and my step granddaughter move in with us until they can get on their feet and we love them it's just general stress you get having pretty much another family move into your house I think anyone would and we have different ways of doing things my husband has OCD so it's very important the house is always clean and he cleans a lot too and I clean a lot it's not like cleaning sprees we always clean thruout the day and it's easier it avoids a mess in the house and that's something thats pretty important to both of us. It's just been that stress on top of everything else in general can't wait for bike week in two weeks it's going to be awesome something me and the hubby get to do with each other with no worries it's like our one thing we do together is go riding in general and bike week is always a blast so I'm really excited for that. Father's day is the last day of bike week and it'll be good with all the sales they have the last day saving a little bit outta my check the third and getting some new chaps and another halter maybe a new nose ring I don't know yet might have one of my husband's friends do my lowerback tattoo for bike week I want it so bad still got a bunch more I want to do but I really want to get my lower back done by bike week to show it off this year. I'm really looking forward to something that will get me away mentally just to feel free no worries just fun. I'm so overwhelmed latley today was the first time in a long time that I really wanted to SI badly like really had to fight it and first time in a while I thought about ending it all and just giving in but I can't and I know I can't I just found myself really having those thoughts today bad. I'm just so overwhelmed period lately it's horrible I'm not normally like this but I have so much on my mind I can't stand it I just want to be able to stop thinking and worrying and stressing so much I swear I'm going to have a heart attack. I feel like I'm always cleaning lately seriously like there is always something I'm doing and I'm so sore somedays it sucks so bad and I've had an excrutiating headache the last five days in a row now seriously on the verge of migraine. I feel like I have to organize and cook everything and try to work on a food budget and it's insane seriously I feel like I'm forty something and I'm not I know I stepped in and married someone older but dam I thought the older kids would know how to be on a budget and clean throughly the one is only two years younger than me and I don't know it's like I feel like me and my man are doing more than we should have to including taking care of our granddaughter who yesterday when we think we might be able to sneak a cat nap which we never do b/c our youngest the only one underage is four and was up for three full nights in a row so sick to her stomach and having to go potty all night she got some bug and she finally dozed off during the day so we thought we could take a cat nap and my stepdaughter and her boyfriend slept most of the mid morning early afternoon and then when they got up we had their little one and our four year old almost all day to that point they said they would take their daughter with them in their area and next thing you know I start to doze off our daughter was sleeping after being sick for a few days I wake up to my one year old stepgranddaughter jumping on me like a horsey and spilling an entire bowl of pears with juice the canned ones all over me in my bed..nice only to come out and see my stepdaughter sleeping and her boyfriend sitting on our couch...fun stuff...just stupid stress I'm having at least the new dog is doing great he's such a big baby I'm so happy with this dog why is it whenever we buy a dog it's an idiot and when we get one given to us for free they're great dogs? That's so backwards lol. I might end up writing more tonight I'm not sure yet see how things go I guess it's been stressful but I hope it gets better.



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