Pandora's Aquarium: Writing My Truth - Pandora's Aquarium

I'm sure much has been written on the matter,what may or may not be fit for publication, but I struggle with this so much. What happened to me happened, but is not appropriate for publication. It is still taboo that these things happen to children, and I am torn about that. No, I don't want to give pedophiles any joy, but, no, I don't think it is right that it must be hidden, unspoken, unknown to non-survivors. We like to bash non-survivors when they are thoughtless, but what part do we play in their ignorance? I am more interested in this subject as a matter of healing, but it also seems important to make a better world.

I am willing to say or write the things that happened, but others are unwilling to listen or read. It is easier to allow it to fall under an catch-all umbrella of "sexual childhood abuse," than it is to know the details. Why do we consider that those things we survived as children, are too difficult for adults to hear? We actually have to pay someone to listen, and try to sort out if the payee is a qualified listener.

Aren't we also protecting our abusers by not speaking openly? They fall under the neatly contained word, "pedophile," but those who haven't experienced that type of abuse cannot appreciate the life-long pain inflicted on survivors. By time we're adults, we are expected to "be over it," the pedophile nothing more than a painful memory. Since we know that a pedophile will remain a pedophile, doesn't this also let them "off the hook?"

I need to speak freely, and I need to maintain the warning against the perpetrator. Taboo denies me both.