[WingedVictory.]

I read the post about using the appropriate forums - which is really great.

I'm not complaining, but i'm afraid it will sound like i am - it's just that my post was moved to the relationship forum (which i totally agree that's where it belongs) and the other topics in there are things that i often find quite triggering so i avoid it for my own self care.

What i was wondering was would it be possible to maybe have a seperate forum for just general relationship stuff - rather than lumping it with the other because truthfully i think the topics are kind of seperate issues.  Maybe i'm the only one that thinks this way and maybe it's totally just out of the question - i was just wondering.

Thanks for listening
Amy

[Emma]

Hey Amy

We've discovered that the more forums we have, the less traffic each gets. We hope that we have a good balance just now between separating things out enough so that 'my voice' isn't totally overwhelmed with threads, and also making sure that each forum gets enough traffic to function.

Hopefully, you'll be able to go into that particular forum so you can access your own thread. If not, then I'm sure that one of the mods will be delighted to let you have a copy of any new posts made to it.

Recently we've had a few irate PMs from people who have had posts moved. While we do sympathise with individual circumstances that make it difficult for people to go into specific forums, we are also aware that if we made a lot of exceptions then this wouldn't be transparent enough to avoid increasing the amount of comments we receive accusing us of deliberately moving things to be hostile.

I hope this helps explain things a little.

Hugs
Emma

[Lora]

(((Amy)))

I understand how you feel.  I no longer go into the My Story forum for self-care reasons.  I sometimes find it triggering to read something in My Voice which contains a graphic story (or part of one).

Mods, maybe a reminder (perhaps temporarily pinned in My Voice) about putting trigger warnings within posts would be helpful?  I know that sometimes I forget to do it myself (especially if I didn't intend to put anything triggering in, but then did, and then have to go back and add it), and we do have a lot of new people here.

Just a thought.

Lora

[WingedVictory.]

Emma

That's cool, if you think that it wouldn't get enough traffic it was just a thought and yes lora i think a gentle reminder about triggers would be helpful.

Thanks for listening

Amy

[Emma]

Are there any particular types of triggers that you feel aren't being flagged up enough? I just ask because I've had a quick scan of my voice and nothing in particular is jumping out at me as something that should have a trigger warning on, but doesn't.

If we [the mods] come across a post that seems like it would be a potential trigger to a large group of people then we put a *t* warning on it ourselves. Generally this happens most with graphic descriptions of sexual or other types of violence, strong emotions, or religious content.

The aftermath forums were originally introduced to help people avoid triggering material. We had a lot of people writing graphic posts about self-injury at the time, and this was proving somewhat disconcerting to a large section of the membership. Now we have a range of different forums for different issues, which should mitigate the need for so many trigger warnings. Of course people are nice, and often put them on anyway!

While we want this board to be as safe for as many people as want to use it, we have always come down on the side of users taking personal responsibility for avoiding the board when they are likely to be triggered, as opposed to trying to label everything that might possibly cause upset to someone. This is a practical issue as much as anything else. Although the five of us manage a reasonable amount of coverage in terms of time spent on the board, there is no way that there's a round the clock presence. This is the only thing that would enable enough consistency in trigger warnings so that people could be assured of feeing 'safe' all the time.

The guidelines say two things about *t* warnings: Please add **T** to a post that you feel might trigger others. However, we all need to keep in mind that much of what you see on this board will be triggering. Please keep safe.

At the moment, I feel like we're all doing a pretty good job at meeting the first request. If there are any specific posts that you feel are out of line, please feel totally free to draw them to the attention of a moderator. We will then add a little *t* by hand.

Take care
Emma

[Laney]

There are some forums that I can't always read for my own comfort.  If there is one particular post there that I am interested in, I'll put the URL for that post on my notepad so I can just go directly to the post, rather than having to go into the forum.  Maybe this would work for others w/ the same issue?

Take care

Laney

[Lora]

Great idea, Laney! (especially since I just put a post in the forum I don't normally go into...)

Lora

[WingedVictory.]

Laney

Thanks!  Very helpful didn't realize i could even do that!

take care.

Also i guess i was a bit confused on the relationship thing - that's not for "all" relationships just intimate ones right so if i was having a relationship issue that was not with a partner but a parent or a friend say then that could go in another forum is that correct?

Amy

[Emma]

Quote

if i was having a relationship issue that was not with a partner but a parent or a friend say then that could go in another forum is that correct

Yep, that's right. If it's a friend-related survivor issue then it can go in 'my voice'. If it's a random friend-related issue, then it can go in 'my life'.

Take care
Emma

[WingedVictory.]

Ok so i'm slow, but i can be taught lol - thank you for walking me through this  :)/> .

Take care

Amy

[Lis]

Any thread that is moved will also remain in the original forum. If your thread gets moved, you can get to it without viewing any other topics in that forum by finding the original one, and clicking the image at the top that says "moved." It will take you directly there.

[Lis]

Haha okay I woke up this morning and randomly decided to give this idea a try and see how it works... voila, relationships forum.

If it doesn't get a lot of traffic, we'll have to collapse it back into sexuality, so please use it!

:)/>

Lis

[WingedVictory.]

Thanks for giving it a try - i'm gonna go post in it right now :)/>

Amy