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My lowest

Posted by journey29 , 01 April 2013 · 35 views

If there's any day that's lower than today then am done for...I have nowhere to run, no one to turn to, felt like the walls were closing in on me, can't think straight, can't function, am just numb. I want to scream so bad but tears just come out. How can a person feel so mortified, so depressed and after such a good day. Am convinced am Bipolar, this just isn't right the way am feeling.
I have never felt so alone today, I had no one to turn to, no one I could talk, words couldn't come out if I tried. :bawling:
I need to start therapy am convinced now more than ever, I really got to have a hold over myself now, I can't depend on anyone but me... :tear:

thanks for the support, I can't believe how fast one could move from having a great time as though I conquered the world to being the lowest ever. Lately it seems as though everything is triggering me and am still trying not to go back to that dark place, but its so hard each day just gets tougher and tougher. Many years ago I made a promise, that I would go to therapy, I think its time to cash in on that promise I made to myself and take that first step.
Thank you again healingoddess, really means a lot.
I suppressed my issues for 35 years and last year I confessed to my GP and now on the road to therapy. I will receive psychodynamic therapy when I come up on the list. I will never refuse help, the worse has been done by telling the GP. The support is amazing from family, friends, colleagues etc. I hope you find the courage to talk as there is a life after the depths of despair. :hug:
It was so bad these past few days that I resorted back to self harming and I haven't done that in over 5 years and I realised that I can't do this anymore, I can't go on living like this, I am a bit angry with myself that I reverted back to my old ways but it was the only thing that helps with the rough patches. I took a good look at myself and said HEY ITS TIME TO STOP NOW. I had made a promise to myself almost 15 years ago that when I started to work I was going to seek professional help, obviously that never materialised until now, I finally had the courage to make that call and ask for help. Hopefully I don't chicken out but Thursday is my first appointment with a psychiatrist, am scared, nervous and I honestly don't know what to expect, but I just have a good feeling about it deep down.
Thank you for sharing with me, fingers crossed :hi5:

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