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Tired and over thinking

Posted by tamjohn70 , 29 May 2013 · 44 views

last night I did not get any sleep. Spent too much time thinking, on twitter and 1/2 watching tv. Today I am going to see my T and show her a few things I have written. I think it is time for me to go forward and let her push in my therpay sessions. She has been waiting for me to let her know when I was ready.

I am at the point where I need to start being completely open and not just on my blogs. My thing is I am scared to death, scare of what I will reveal and then actually saying most of it out loud. For me that is the most traumatic piece of everything. Writing and saying it makes it true, makes it all real. Wake up and wantin to forget but can't. Hoping it is a lie or maybe like I stated in previous posts thinking I am crazy. I know it happened and it is true, I cannot change the facts. But feeling back for myself is not an option any more.

Ok I am also really tired adn want to go to sleep, at work and can't. wow.

November 2014

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