Except now it has just left me feeling even more alone. My flatmate has the nicest mum who is a counsellor and knows a lot about me due to the fact she works at where I go for therapy and yeah..has heard a lot about me..and she keeps joking today about adopting me telling me to join their family which I laughed off but agh that would be nice right now. Except I know comments like that hurts my mum cause she generally cares and I know that she just doesn't know how to help.
I wish I didnt get flashbacks ever....it's impacting my sleep so bad. and my psychiatrist wont give me pills..well he has in the past and yeah that didn't end well so he doesnt trust me with them anymore...fair enough i guess...blaaaahhhhhhhh, feel so sick.
Hmmm it would be so nice to be 'cured' right now I want to sleep normally, I want to eat guilt free, I want to leave the house without taking a second look at every person I see.
Don't know what to do..and I am so tired, i hate that people keep telling me that I need to harden up, or I need to get over myself...that I shouldn't be so tired! Well I wish i could just 'get over it' if only it were that easy..and no I shouldn't be so tired but I am! 4 days no sleep does that to a person...and no one believes me..until tonight..my sisters friend staying with me and has stayed up until now 5.30 was her cut off.
Blah dont know why I am even writing this..think I am just bored and theres not a lot to do at this time. hmmm