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So tired.

Posted by Dark_and_Dead , 19 July 2011 · 19 views

So it's 5.30am..have now been up for 4days straight and I actually feel like I am slowly going insane. I know its affecting me because I am over reacting at the littlest things. Had a massive fight with my family..as far as going organizing the next 3 weeks to ensure there is no way I have to see anyone from my family, even the ones I didn't have a fight with.

Except now it has just left me feeling even more alone. My flatmate has the nicest mum who is a counsellor and knows a lot about me due to the fact she works at where I go for therapy and yeah..has heard a lot about me..and she keeps joking today about adopting me telling me to join their family which I laughed off but agh that would be nice right now. Except I know comments like that hurts my mum cause she generally cares and I know that she just doesn't know how to help.

I wish I didnt get flashbacks ever....it's impacting my sleep so bad. and my psychiatrist wont give me pills..well he has in the past and yeah that didn't end well so he doesnt trust me with them anymore...fair enough i guess...blaaaahhhhhhhh, feel so sick.

Hmmm it would be so nice to be 'cured' right now :) I want to sleep normally, I want to eat guilt free, I want to leave the house without taking a second look at every person I see.

Don't know what to do..and I am so tired, i hate that people keep telling me that I need to harden up, or I need to get over myself...that I shouldn't be so tired! Well I wish i could just 'get over it' if only it were that easy..and no I shouldn't be so tired but I am! 4 days no sleep does that to a person...and no one believes me..until tonight..my sisters friend staying with me and has stayed up until now :P 5.30 was her cut off.

Blah dont know why I am even writing this..think I am just bored and theres not a lot to do at this time. hmmm

yo don't just get over it, hate it when people say that, take it day by day, surround yourself with happy people, and its obvious you have people who care.
try taking karm tablets, which are stress and anxiety, i take 4 before bed to help me drift off because i have nightmares and hate sleep sometimes, more you worry about sleeping and dreams the more you'll make it worse, and set off flashbacks. drink herbal tea and try all the tricks in the book.
i hope you feel better soon. take care xxxx

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