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Thanks dad.

Posted by mockingbird , 21 April 2010 · 70 views

Every time I hurt myself it's because of you.

I'll just break down in the middle of something because you hurt me so bad.

Sometimes I'm too numb to feel because of you.

Anytime I think about sex and am physically and emotionally repulsed it's because of you.

I have no idea what a father daughter relationship is actually supposed to look like.

You made me hate my body and my soul.

You made me feel useless, just something to be used.

You taught me how to give a guy oral sex when I was four. What four year old needs to know that?

I've doubted myself and hated myself too many times because of this.

I don't know what it's like to feel loved without feeling violated.

I'm 16 and I've thought about SU thousands of times.

Thanks Dad. Thanks a fucking million.

October 2014

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