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Just needing some opinions...

Posted by DoAnYa323 , 14 November 2010 · 22 views

Well I've met up with this guy, 3 times recently(He's in my Capoeira class so basically we met 1 time in class, 1 time at a Roda [set of matches] and after party and 1 time at the Batizado [belt ceremony]). I trust him enough to want to hang out with him because we are in the same Capoeira group and we have talked quite a bit. Also, in Capoeira, everyone treats ever body as if they are part of the same family so I trust the people in my groups a lot.

So the guy and I were suppose to meet up at the air show yesterday but he had to work the parking lot (he's in the Air Force also). So he set up a date for us to meet cause he wanted to make it up to me for not hangin' out. He offered to take me out for sushi tomorrow night.

Now I'm sort of nervous because 1)I gave him my address to pick me up at (I didn't do this with my R, but I'm nervous that this guy knows where I live if he turns out to be someone who wants to hurt me. I figured, though, since some of my family will be home, they can at least meet him and know what he looks like). 2) He's taking me to this sushi place across town kinda when I kinda just threw out some sushi places I knew of closer to my place.

I'm being ultra paranoid but I am just scared I guess. I do want to get to know him more cause he seems nice and an interesting person. I think I need to stop pushing my friends away and thinking every new guy I meet is out to get me ><!!

Does anyone who reads this think I'm making the right choice in telling him where I live (I do live in a gated community...) and letting him take me out so soon in his ride instead of like meeting him somewhere? Am I being way too paranoid??



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strangerthankindness
Nov 15 2010 06:34 PM
I wish I could give you a better opinion than this, but at the moment I can't. (I'm sorry!)If you don't feel comfortable or safe with this person going to your home or being alone in a car with him maybe you can tell him that you will meet him there instead. You shouldn't have to be panicking when you should be having a good time! So if it'll easy your mind I really really think you should tell him you'll meet him at the sushi place (just so you can have some piece of mind) and perhaps when you get more comfortable with him he can start picking you up at home. I also must say I think it's great that you're attempting to meet new people!!! Not everyone will hurt you the way you've been hurt in your past and it's a courageous thing to be taking these steps.
Heya DoAnYa323 :)

I agree with strangerthankindness. Because it has come into your mind and you are feeling nervous about it, I feel that maybe it is best to listen to how you feel and create that safety that you need to make this meeting a relaxed and comfortable experince from the very start :) This way you'll enjoy yourself more knowing that you have made a concious decision to look after yourself as well as being brave enough to reach out to others to reconnect after what you have gone through. Good on you for thinking it through :) There is nothing wrong with creating safety wherever you go and whoever you meet but Strangerthankindness is also right in saying that not everyone has a nasty mind... this world of ours is beautiful and is filled with beautiful people too.

P.S. I don't think he will find anything wrong with you changing it so that you guys can meet up, even if it means somewhere closer to you...until you feel comfortable with him picking you up. Good luck but most of all have a great time!
Thank you so much. I was freaking out soooo much. We had a good time tonight =). We both were pretty tired so we didn't get super talkative but of course we had some funny convos. But I'm glad I went out. I had fun =)

This def let me see that the world is full of beautiful people again <=]


Thank you, both of you :)

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