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My war

Posted by EVH , in Healing Journey, Uncategorized 06 September 2013 · 119 views

So, guys this is war. I'm going to war. Yes, she's right, this is something I have to do myself. I have to fight it. It hurts. So much that I can't breathe. But I will fight it.

I came back to school to keep studying what I love. I love MST. But this is it. This is the end of it. All I have is a broken heart and a huge debt. I'll probably be homeless soon. But I don't need much. Just me, my backpack, my war strategy, my plan and my memory of the friendship, my hope, the taste of the sweet.

I will not give up. I will fight.

"Wish we could just sit the fuck down and have a chat, not worry about all this lesson stuff. Just hang out. One day, we will xxx"

One day we will

I love you so much for your bravery.
You remind me so much of my own friend...
I haven't seen him since 1997.

He was a brilliant teacher and I still remember his very last lesson and his hyperkinetic energy, his long strides and passion as he said in a certain self-talk kind of way he occasionally
adopted, "So much to do, so little time."

And wrote a sentence he began to parse using the Socratic method.

"It is raining.". Then saying "What is "it"?

A fascinating question really.

I began to compulsively draw a grid, letters on each column and letters on each row. Then I began to link each letter,
column to row, column to row, a matrix of the interconnection of each variable. I'm so sad I couldn't show my friend my idea because the next thing I knew, he was gone.

It hit me hard. He was my very first friend.
I know what you mean. I've made one real friend in all my life.
He is brilliant and genius and I could barely keep myself from snapping at the dumbf**ks who ridiculed his passion and sensitivity. He has a soul God loves and people tear apart.

I really miss my friend too.

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