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I miss you so much.
There's no one to talk to.
No kind words.
And I'm eternally grateful.
But I miss your ever-present presence.
I really thought you'd be the common denominator in my life.
This month has been terrible in that regard.
The isolation is sickening.
I really need close friends,
But my life is so complex I can't just make friends.
I miss Sarah.
I wish we were as close as we used to be.
I've tried to reach out, but she's noticeably distant.
I guess I'm too much.
I always seem to be too much.
I feel like I should be kicking myself for letting down my walls.
I should be kicking myself for losing my ability to control my emotions.
Hope is saving me.
It really is.
But what if it doesn't come through?
Then I have to learn to live without you.
And I don't want to.
I don't need you.
I recognize that.
I need God.
But I want you.
Oh so badly.
Jut those things?
Ask and I will receive?
Those aren't evil at all, so please?