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Today, someone said "thank you" to me after I told her that I didn't SI. Of course, this is a friend, who is concerned about me.
But her saying that to me, with all of her good intentions and concern, isn't exactly helpful to me.
I just don't know what, if anything, can help me right now.
I feel like I am at the lowest depths of depression possible.
The contradiction is that I am functioning.
Just barely.
Mostly, because I know that if I don't force myself to function, I will sink lower still. And I don't know where sinking that low would take me.
I can't write much more now, because all it will be is a long rambling on about the darkness I feel inside of me.
But yeah, I guess I can check in here. Everyone wants me to check in. "Check in" Like I'm confirming my reservations at some hotel. Check in, yes, I'm here. I'm still here.
I don't know, but I'm still here.
But her saying that to me, with all of her good intentions and concern, isn't exactly helpful to me.
I just don't know what, if anything, can help me right now.
I feel like I am at the lowest depths of depression possible.
The contradiction is that I am functioning.
Just barely.
Mostly, because I know that if I don't force myself to function, I will sink lower still. And I don't know where sinking that low would take me.
I can't write much more now, because all it will be is a long rambling on about the darkness I feel inside of me.
But yeah, I guess I can check in here. Everyone wants me to check in. "Check in" Like I'm confirming my reservations at some hotel. Check in, yes, I'm here. I'm still here.
I don't know, but I'm still here.
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thank you
thank you