My mood swings are in short 90 degree turns so I am boxed in misery and suffering. My behavior seems to be irrational, emotions are being felt in intensity and painfully. Crying for no reason. Do not want to be touched at all. Don't want to talk. Thinking of throwing things or maybe shouting in anger, sarcasm and cynically. I feel so immature but can't seem stop myself. Physical pain is also heightened. I cannot stand to be in my own skin.
I would have asked my mother yesterday for the funds to get my antidepressant but she was not a pleasant or good person yesterday. All about her yesterday. She did not hear one word my daughter or I said. I actually think she is in love with her single neighbor who is 58 years younger than her. That seemed to be where her focus since she spoke about him so much; how funny and cute he is. Ewwww!
Anyway I am just all over the place. My brain is going from one thought to another faster than I can manage so am overwhelmed and exhausted. This is the worst day since I have not taken my antidepressant. It is day 3 and I have two more days until I will have the money to pick it up from the pharmacy.
Wow I can't keep up with myself if that makes any sense.
Furthermore I am questioning my sanity. Since the end of July I have had one UTI after another and been on 5 different antibiotics. I started having symptoms again this last Sunday and still have symptoms. One would think after the last 6 months I would be an expert on what having an UTI feels like but the urine specimen I gave says I do not have an infection. So I feel like a fool yet know the pain I feel is real. My hemotology doctor is still going to put me on a maintenance antibiotic for awhile so perhaps he believes me but know one else does. It must be in my head therefore minimalized. Maybe it is related my fibromyalgia. IDK what I do know is that I'm in pain.
Wishing you all a better day than mine