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Poster Child

Posted by bellachai , 29 November 2013 · 275 views

Posted Image I would be right now  a good and accurate poster child for why one should never, ever just stop taking their antidepressant  by choice or due to lack of funds (which is my case).   I only have myself to blame I should have budgeted better but I had not anticipated two vehicles needing repair.  One is still not repaired. 
My mood swings are in short 90 degree turns so I am boxed in misery and suffering.  My behavior seems to be irrational,  emotions are being felt in intensity and painfully.  Crying for no reason.  Do not want to be touched at all.  Don't want to talk.  Thinking of throwing things or maybe shouting in anger, sarcasm and cynically.  I feel so immature but can't seem stop myself.  Physical pain is also heightened.  I cannot stand to be in my own skin.Posted Image
I would have asked my mother yesterday for the funds to get my antidepressant but she was not a pleasant or good person yesterday.  All about her yesterday.  She did not hear one word my daughter or I said.  I actually think she is in love with her single neighbor who is 58 years younger than her.  That seemed to be where her focus since she spoke about him so much; how funny and cute he is.  Ewwww!
Anyway I am just all over the place.  My brain is going from one thought to another faster than I can manage so am overwhelmed and exhausted.  This is the worst day since I have not taken my antidepressant.  It is day 3 and I have two more days until I will have the money to pick it up from the pharmacy.
Wow I can't keep up with myself if that makes any sense.
Furthermore I am questioning my sanity.  Since the end of July I have had one UTI after another and been on 5 different antibiotics.  I started having symptoms again this last Sunday and still have symptoms.  One would think after the last 6 months I would be an expert on what having an UTI feels like but the urine specimen I gave says I do not have an infection.  So I feel like a fool yet know the pain I feel is real.  My hemotology doctor is still going to put me on a maintenance antibiotic for awhile so perhaps he believes me but know one else does.  It must be in my head therefore minimalized.  Maybe it is related my fibromyalgia.  IDK what I do know is that I'm in pain.
Wishing you all a better day than minePosted Image

Nov 29 2013 07:26 PM

Ask the pharmacy for a refill now, instead of in a few days. I've had situations where I ran out before I was able to get a prescription for a refill, and the pharmacy gave it to me, because they know it's not good to go off an anti-depressant just like that. They gave me just the one refill to tide me over until I was able to get the next prescription from my doctor. Explain to them your situation. You shouldn't have to suffer like this. Maybe they can even dispense you just a few days' worth until you can pay when you pick up the rest. I am sure you should be able to arrange something with them.

You are awesome.  I never thought of that so they are closed now but will call in the morning.  They can only say no so have everything to gain.


Thank you (((Untangling)))  You are so wonderful.

Nov 29 2013 08:49 PM

You're welcome :)

Nov 29 2013 09:17 PM

Bella, I'm so sorry.... I hope you are able to get your meds soon. You're not crazy for feeling like you have a UTI, there are all kinds of things that could make you feel UTI-type symptoms (probably including your fibromyalgia but I'm not honestly sure on that one), and none of them are "crazy." :) Honestly just having some irritation in that area of your body for whatever reason would feel just the same as having an infection. What you are feeling when you have a UTI is the inflammation, not the bacteria themselves, you know? Anyway, you are not crazy and I hope you feel better soon. I'm also sorry your mother was so trying for Thanksgiving. It is kind of you to keep giving her as much of your time and yourself as you do when she can be so difficult.


Thank you all for caring.


Update:  Against Walmart policy.  Too bad pain of any kind messes with focused thinking.  Hindsight is always better than foresight.  I could have called my doctor office for a free sample after explaining my dilemma.  Duh!


Closed on weekend.  A day late and a dollar short.  LOL


I am calmer on the inside but incredibly sad and know it is lack of meds so can manage another day.


Onward I go.......

Bella -


I battle with fibromyalgia. It's maddening sometimes.  With the mix of all the physical symptoms I feel because of PTSD, I never know which end it's coming from.  I always seem to forget the fibromyalgia until I look back and piece it together.  I DEFIANTLY experience a lot of urinary symptoms when I have a flair up.  I feel for you.  I am glad that you have found some options to have your medications filled :)  Stopping them cold turkey alone can make you feel nutso!


Sending you comfort.  Thank you for sharing


Thank you (((ravel))) You hugs are always welcome and appreciated.

Thank you (((Nodimlight))) I am sorry you have fibromyalgia. It is a painful and strange disorder. I went to this helpful sight patientslikeme.com and found that it is not uncommon for people with fibromyalgia to have UTI symptoms. Interesting but unwanted.
Dec 06 2013 06:48 AM
I am on 40 mg of citalopram, and I am afraid of going off it. Sometimes I think it works other times I don't. I have gone off them before and even when done slowly, I still crashed.
Dec 06 2013 06:50 AM
I also have had frequent UTI without fibromyalgia. I often wonder if there is some sort of stress/trigger connection to my UTIs.

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