Just when my life seems like it's coming together, something goes wrong and things start to fall apart. I took the GRE last week and have received my scores. They're not great, not near what I need them to be. I don't have time before application deadlines to retake the test. I don't even know what happened. I'm a great student. I always do well. I guess the pressure was too much.
You see I really need to get into grad school, not only because it's the only way to get the career I want but because I need to get away from my family. They are killing me slowly from the inside out and I can't stand to be here around them. I've been telling myself I have less than a year left with them because then I'll be off to one of the distant grad schools I'm applying to, but now I'm not sure that will happen.
My T has also been pushing me harder. She has been getting my to dive deeper during our sessions. This has caused me to think about him more than I already do. He's been popping into my head a lot recently, causing me to be depressed for days. I skipped my last session (it was on my birthday) and I spent the last one refusing to talk about anything stressful because my GRE test was the next day. Now I'm wishing I could talk to her.
I'm trying to think of good things and keep my hope for the future I want alive, but it's so hard. My life feels like one long bad day.