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How could my parents not notice?

Posted by stronger98 , 05 March 2014 · 106 views

I Cried Everyday.
Everyday
Every Minute Of Every Second Of Every Hour Of Everyday In Preschool.
In Kindergarten.
In Church.

I Sobbed Whenever My Mama Wasn't With Me.

I Understand It's Normal For Kids To Not Want To Be Absent From There Parents But After Years And Years Of Crying In Her Absence Wouldn't She Have Figured Something Out? After The First Week Of Preschool Children Know There Mom Is Coming Back, Because They Always Did The Days Before. How Could My Parents Not See I Was Afraid If They Weren't Around Someone Was Going To Hurt Me? How Could They Not See My Fears?

At age Three Or Four I Masturbated In Class A Couple Of Times so....My School Ended Up Calling Dcf.
Why Didn't My Parents Take Me To A Doctor? I Have A Very Scary Memory Of A Blonde Haired White Man Wearing A Grey Shirt, Jeans And White Sneakers Rapeing me When I Was Two Or Three On A Blue Carpet. His Face Is Blur. Always Has Been. I Want To Know Exactly What Happened To Me And Who Did It. I Want To Know Other Little Children Are Safe Out There From This Man Too.
I Would Touch Myself At Home As Well And Stick Little Things Inside Myself. How Could They Not Have Thought Something Was Up? My Papa Saw Me Doing This When I Was Five And Told Me Never To Do It Again Or Else I Would Get Sick.

I Developed An Anxiety Disorder When I Was In First Grade After My Aunt Molested Another Girl And I. Why Wasn't I In Therapy Until Now?

When I Was In Third Grade I was The Loudest Person In My Class. By Fourth Grade I Was The Quitest. How Could They Not Notice My Social Withdraw? Why Couldn't They Have Thought Someone Was Abusing Me? The Start Of Fifth Grade I Had Perfect Grades Than Half Way Through I Was Barley Passing Any Of My Classes. I Have Good Grades Now. When I Was In Sixth Grade How Could My Mom Not Rescue Me Down Stairs When I Screamed? I Told My Mother At One Point I Was Sexually Assaulted By This Person And She Ignored me.

I Kept Telling My Papa My Brother Was Being innapropriate With Me But He Kept Saying Well Than Tell Him To Stop He Is A Man He Doesnt Get Social CuEs. It Wasn't Until I Told Him He Had Been Sexually assAulting Me My Papa Toke It Seriously.

Seriously???? Where Were My Parents When All This Was Going On????



These are all good questions, and you deserve answers. I don't understand where the accountability is when a child is obviously suffering, and no one does anything about it. No one wants to take responsibility, no one wants to get blamed, and the child suffers. I'm so sorry that child was you. There are laws against all of this, people who should have reported it, helped you out of these situations, yet you fell through the cracks, so to speak. Why wasn't there more DCF follow up? Your parents have a lot to answer for, stronger98. You deserved so much more, and still do.

You're right, absolutely.  Somebody should have noticed.  I find that, right now, I'm madder at my parents for not noticing than I am at the person who molested me.  It's really peculiar.  So sorry that you spent so many years feeling sad and unsafe and hope that the people here on Pandy's can help a little bit with that.  Hugs to you, if okay.

They let you down shamefully. I'm so sorry. It is right to feel great anger at them. They did not protect you and they did not rescue you.

You were let down badly Samara, both by your parents & DCF & your abusers & now you need answers; at least with answers you'll be able to come to some understanding, albeit a little, about why all this happened to you

 

hug.gif

I have memories of crying out for help, I was ignored or beaten back, some people can't deal with things, those things that happen behind closed doors, so they ignore and carry on, My guess is that they do not think it will harm us and we will grow up strong and forget about what happened. You deserve more, like we all do, those who suffer, should not suffer anymore, if it was to teach us lessons in life, then why not teach us how to handle this stuff in school, especially if it's 1 in 4 Children here in the UK and 1 in 6 in the USA so it must be a bigger issue than the governments want to let on eh? just ignore it and it will go away, allow the charity's to look after it? this is what thy think and say. 

 

You deserve much more, but when we have all the answers what do we do then? does it make us better or just more angry? I suppose it makes us more Angry for a while until we accept our truth and move on, closure I suppose we are all looking for, but the secret is closure with true love and compassion for our-self's.

 

Find new ways to love and care for you, look to our higher sense of awareness and know we do somewhere love and care for us, just make that our goal to achieve, know that other people out there do love and care, but sometimes it's hard to find in a busy life filled with confusion, stress, worry, anxiety people just will not understand unless it brought out into the open.

 

Look to the now and the future, your past that you cannot change, heal what is there to be healed time and time again until you hurt no more and feel no more anger guilt or shame.

 

take care of yourself

 

love yourself

Thank You All For Your Encouragement And Responses....You All Helped Me Deeply

December 2014

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