A part of me wanted to pick up the phone, tell him to give me my money and apologize for all those times he hurt and used me. But that would've been too much, so I didn't do it. I'm glad I cut him off. For too long, I kept wanting to contact him. For months, I didn't call what he did SA. I was too scared to call it that. I thought everything that happened was my fault. But now that I know better, I'm not letting him back into my life ever. :angry:/>
I'm coming to terms with what happened and moving on. I'm going to a T soon to get help. But the price I pay for keeping all of this to myself is too much sometimes. I'm the that's missed out on church and friendships b/c I'm too scared to accuse my ex of r*pe and SA. He gets to go to church every week like nothing happened while I'm looked at as the rebel for leaving church. I'm afraid it's a lose-lose situation. So many times I wish I could tell my parents or friends, but part of me fears they'll push me away, so it's better to get through school and move away b/c it's all too painful.