[eyesopen]

The worst betrayal for me was this. The first time I was abused, I was 8. I reported him, and my upstairs neighbor was my lawyer throughout the whole court case. One of his sons, who I basically grew up with although he's about 4 years older than me, started abusing me when I was 9 until I was 12. I had always considered him as a brother.. and it was so twisted to be abused in the home of my lawyer for the first abuse. Not to mention my parents and his parents are best friends. He still lives right above me, and is the most arrogant person I've ever seen walk the face of the Earth. He wasn't supposed to hurt me, he was supposed to be my friend.
I also felt betrayed by my parents and older sister, because they were there the entire time but never noticed what was going on with me. I know that isn't exactly real betrayal, but that's how it felt... I wish they could have protected me.

[silentchild546]

There were two betrayals for me, while I was in school, in elementary school mind you, a boy touched me and I told the teacher and all he got was put up against a wall. Then in middle school when the popular boys were sexually harassing me, the teachers did nothing to stop it. They would do it right in the middle of class but I wasn't a popular kid and they were popular.

The second one was my sister, she was paranoid one time, freaked out and left a bruise on my arm, and then when she decided to tell me she almost had a rage attack whilst I was sleeping, I left home and my mom blamed me for leaving even though I told her that my sister was psychotic.

[stillstrong]

1. Being SA'ed by my "godfather," father, and two cousins
2. After my sister attempted suicide she said, "After you told me what happened to you too, I just couldn't handle it."
3. My mother's alcoholism and abuse growing up
4. My silent adopted dad
5. The many ways I betrayed myself: SI, addictions, self-hatred, risky behaviors

[lamm9999]

first was my mom. when she found out i was cutting myself she said to stop doing what my friends were doing and i was acting stupid.
second was my good friend/sisters ex-boyfriend. He knew i had issues with (hating) myself and he raped me which makes me hate myself so much more.

[jb93]

A girl who I thought was my friend. She was having sex with her boyfriend in the same room I was getting raped in at that time. The next morning she told me "Well, I told him you were a virgin" as if that said she tryed to have some part in preventing him from doing that to me. :(/>

[Lisamarie2011]

The worst betrayal besides the one who attempted to rape me who was supossed to be my friend, was his wife. She threw a chiar through my kitchen window, called me a whore, and that I was "sleeping with" her husband. She would barge into my house and yell at me until I was able to get out of there. This has been tough to deal with, people not believing me, makes me feel like maybe I am those things, even though I am not. I am still working through it, this experience happend fairly recently so it is tough. I guess I have to reassure myself almost daily that they were not my true friends, and that their actions towards me does not make them right to do these things, and that one day justice will prevail. I have to believe in justice, even if it doen't happen the way I envision it. THis keeps me going anyway. One day at at time. I haven't worked through it very much yet I guess but I am trying to.

[rose13]

Worst betrayals

1 - was the fact that my attacker/abuser was a policeman

2 - Just before xmas I told someone i thought was my best friend (maybe even more), we talked for about a week with me skirting round the topic he just kept asking question, with me giving really short/one word answers until there it was cards laid on the table. He was great, we went through loads of different options but i decided that when Paul next contacted me i was going to let him know that i had told someone who believed me and if he ever got in touch or came near me again i was going to report him. That was then, now he is completely ignoring me

:cry:/>

[msbella]

Louise, on 07 March 2003 - 09:50 PM, said:

Hello again Kevin - I'll start here with one betrayal that still rocks me from time to time.<p>My mother visited my rapist in jail. Even though I was used to never having her be on my side, that was a kind of final straw. I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. I remember announcing it to my therapist through a sick fog, and I will never forget the way she stopped what she was saying and quietly said "I beg your pardon, Lou?'<p>I battled with my sense of worthlessness, and in the end came to realise that it was about mother as a parent; my mother and her monstrous priorities, not about a lack of worth on my part. I could also understand why it had been hard for me to believe that what he did to me was really wrong.<p>I could then confront her and express my disgust. After telling me she felt sorry for him, and that he'd called her 'mum' in the visiting room, I told her I didn't want to hear about it. She said, 'oh, well, it seemed the christian thing to do, but I won't go there again'. I said, 'I don't give a toss what you do, mother. I know my feelings have never been important to you, but they are to me. Go if you want, but I think it's obscene and I don't want to hear about it'.<p>Sometimes I'm still surprised when something unfair has happened to me and people display partisan support for me.<p>I think what she did still rocks me because I don't understand how such a thing is possible - the only place I would vsit somebody who beat and raped my daughter is in the cemetary so I could piss on his grave.<p>Hugs<p>Lou xxxx

Lou,
I read this and honestly it sounds like something my mother would do. That is just so wrong on so many levels. And then to say it is the "Christian" thing to do??? My mom knew my stepfather was molesting me and she should have known he was r*ping me, although I didn't remember that until a few years ago at the point of a near breakdown. Once the molesation went outside the family (my sister's best friend) she came to me and asked about it. My stepfather made the accusation that my sister was lesbian and he had walked in on my sister and her friend. My mom was believing this by the time I found out. I blew a fuse. I told her he did it to me and she was doing the same thing, not believing it! She got angry at what I said! Word started to get out, and I'm sure she was afraid of him being arrested, so she suddenly decided to throw him out of the house. Never mind that he beat the living hell out of me and my sister, molested and r*ped me, but word might get out in town! Fast forward to last winter. New step father. Him and my mother (who me and my sons call by first name as she has never been a mom or grandmother) begged me to move to one of their farms to take care of their horses. The day after I arrive, they have told me the farm I was to work and live at, they have put up for sale! The day AFTER I move me and my son two hours from our home. We lived in a basement with no heat. I started looking for a job since working with the horses wasn't going to be an option. My son and I came back one day when they were gone. My car got stuck part of the way up their two mile driveway. I had tried to drive on the snow covered driveway as my son has asthma. Breathing cold air sends him into an attack. The winds were blowing 60MPH and I was terrified he would have an attack as we reached the house. I wrapped a scarf around his face in an effort to warm the air, if possible he would be breathing. He was exhausted when we reached home. A few hours later, I hear knocking on the back door and my stepfather comes through it cussing and screaming "look at what you have done to your mother!" Their car got stuck (because of mine) and they had to walk. My mom was standing there with this helpless look on her face, saying nothing. He started screaming at my son and went towards him. I ran over in front of him and said hell no, if you have something to say, then settle it with me. He continued degrading me and my son. All the while my mom just stood there. As when I was a kid, I waited for her to say something, hell anything. She didn't. The next day, me and my son went to a motel. Before I left mom wasn't happy until she "justified" everything her husband said. I left knowing then, that nothing she does or says will ever surprise me. And she wonders why we call her by her first name? She never acted like a mother and never will.

[shelst]

The most recent betrayel I know of happened to me tonight. My parents went out to dinner and a church service with the man who abused me as a 3 year old child. Yea, they are all buddy buddy now. Best of friends, everyone is pretending like nothing happened. They even tell me about going to dinner with this man and his wife and family. When they tell me this crap, I get all nervous and very resntful. I can totaly rellate to the stories. PS hoping I am positng right, this is my first post.

This post has been edited by shelst: 03 March 2011 - 08:06 PM

[reclusiveuk]

shelst, on 03 March 2011 - 08:02 PM, said:

The most recent betrayel I know of happened to me tonight. My parents went out to dinner and a church service with the man who abused me as a 3 year old child. Yea, they are all buddy buddy now. Best of friends, everyone is pretending like nothing happened. They even tell me about going to dinner with this man and his wife and family. When they tell me this crap, I get all nervous and very resntful. I can totaly rellate to the stories. PS hoping I am positng right, this is my first post.

Hi shelst, Im so sorry to read your post that is the ultimate betrayal, I will never understand parents that can be like this, my family are the same, I have nothing to do with them anymore and my life is richer for not having them in it.I just wanted to let you know that I can relate to how youre feeling and Im sorry that your parents have done that to you, its beyond my understanding. well done for posting, the first ones are the hardest. take care of yourself, Jo :hug:/>

[Pavitra]

1. My parents did nothing when my brother abused me and I turned to them for help. NOTHING. My mother alternated between labeling it as normal behavior or blaming me, and my father didn't even say boo. He only acknowledged knowing about it when I asked him several years after it started.
2. My parents befriended my rapist when he started attending their church - and they knew about the rape.
3. My ex-husband ended up sexually abusing me despite pretending to be supportive and condemning the abuse I endured.
4. My ex, at least I suspect, has gotten my oldest to turn against me and not speak to me because I cut off contact with him and will not pander to his mind games anymore.
5. My MIL twisted my situation to use it against me at her convenience and has tried to insinuate that my estrangement with my family of origin is my fault now that her son (my husband) refuses to tolerate her abuse... and yes she knows I'm an incest survivor.

[halo]

1. When I told my mother about the abuse I suffered, though initally kind, she just has done nothing but blame me for it as use it as "proof" that I'm a "hillbilly" and a "whore" and a generally awful daughter and person. (Honestly I could do 20 alone about my mother).

2. My "friend" who said; "I notice that you like to play the rape card a lot" when I made reference to him stopping to speak to me shortly after I was raped as an adult and how much it hurt.

3. The guy that befriended me online and pretended to have romantic feelings for me when he was only trying to as he later told get "gather information" about me to use to stalk/harass me with his friends. When I asked him why he said; "you seemed vulerable."

4. The people on the eating disorder support board that I was a member of. People said I "whined" and complained" because I dared look for support there. Then when my stalkers showed up and said I "made up stories about being raped so people would feel sorry for" me, everyone believed then. There was a running "joke" there that I "lied about being raped."

5. The friend who claimed I made it up to get his "attention/affection."

[loveinflames]

one boyfriend abandoned me after I was assaulted. Later coaxed me back into friendship abandoned me again. Denied my childhood abuse when i started remembering and shared with him
one told me he didn't care after
one told me he was different and assaulted me. Said I "played the raped card". Emotionally manipulated me into staying in a relationship despite the fact the the stress of it was nearly killing me in its physical manifestations.

one best-friend I lived with disrespected my need to feel safe at home
one best-friend told me I needed to get over it.

This post has been edited by loveinflames: 15 March 2011 - 05:22 AM

[hyperballad13]

As much as they have tried to give me support, I feel betrayed by my best friends.

It happened on holiday by the DJ of a bar and despite the fact they were in the next room when it happened; they still went back to the same bar every night before we left because they fancied two of the bar staff....who were with them when it happened..

They heard me screaming and although they tried to stop it, they couldn't and I just don't understand how they could go back there...

I don't think I can ever forgive them for that and how guilty they made me feel for lashing out at them....

Most of all, I feel most betrayed by myself because I'd allowed myself to get into that situation and now I'm trying to pretend to everyone back home that my holiday was fantastic....I just cant face telling them the truth...

[Sarana]

There have been many, but this flashes to mind because it was my mother who, once again, betrayed me. We lived in a place that was unsafe. While my mother was out, a man broke in and beat and raped me. I recognized him. When my mother arrived home, she found me bruised, vomiting, bleeding and pissed off. I wanted to go to the police and report. She put me in the shower and told me to clean up. She then stormed out when I told her I recognized him and described him to her. When she returned, I asked if we were going to the police. She said, "No. We talked and I showed him what it was like to f**k a real woman. You're not going to ruin this for me." I had no words. She did take me to the public health clinic to be patched up (a horrible, horrible experience). I was 14. A couple of weeks later after I turned 15, I left. I realized her caring about me was a lost cause and finally gave up. I joke that some women have the "mother" gene and some simply don't.