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Hello darkness

Posted by EVH , 09 January 2014 · 200 views

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

Flashbacks. One of the most painful reminders of our horrific past. Coming unexpected. Coming quietly. Sneaking into our brains to violently destroy the tiny bit of peace of mind we work so hard for every single minute. They poison our hearts. Get into our bloodstream and spread to other parts of the body. To all parts of our life. We hate them. We fear them. We cry when they come. We scream when they show us what we've been through. We try to stop them. But we can't. We try to fight them. But we can't. So we try to accept them. We know we don't have a choice: if you can't get what you love, you learn to love the things you've got. If you can't be what you want, you learn to be the things you're not.They are a part of who we are. Of who we have become. They are written in our scars. They shape us. Change us. Destroy us. Tear by tear. Scream by scream. Dream by dream. Till there is nothing left but darkness.
I'm tired of being scared. I'm tired of living a lie. I'm tired of being tired.
It's simple human nature to keep little secrets about ourselves. We all do it. But what if your whole life is a secret? A lie? And exposing the truth could destroy everything you are. What do you do?

I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now.  Flashbacks are exhausting.


I will sit with you, if you like.

metoyou.gif  Sending so much empathy...These feelings can be so difficult to deal with...   Be gentle with you.  hug.gifhug.gifhug.gif



"Tired of being tired" - yes, I can identify.  Just wanted to tell you that I read your post To Tell or Not to Tell a couple of days ago before joining this forum.  So much of what you wrote was familiar and I wanted to let you know that you made me think, after 2 and a half years of struggling and searching, that maybe I CAN find some comfort here.  So thank you so much EVH for giving me the courage to become a member.  Take care.

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