Peace and anxiety - fighting for control
I have accomplished more today than I've been able to do on most Sat. But I'm afraid to push it because I feel the anxiety just below the surface, waiting to strike. I feel it now as I write this. There will be a price to pay for the calm beginning of the day. There will be a return of the fear and self doubt. But for now, I'm fighting to hold on to the peace, I'm fighting to keep breathing slowly and keep moving forward.
If I could do what I should do today and get through all the errands and chores, then go to a family BBQ without a full on panic attack, it will be the 1st saturday in months that I've acheived this. To be normal, if I can only have this one day to feel normal, do normal everyday things.
Deep breath. Hold on. Don't let the anxiety win.