Jump to content


Touch down

Posted by nevorisp_opheseco , 16 November 2013 · 165 views

So here I am. Arrived in safe place, so it looks. And found a place for my all voices. It is a good day to be born in this way. Cool November evening. My wish is to use this blog to keep me moving forward. One step, a half of a step, but looking toward healing each day, putting the proverbial drop in the bucket. 
I am not new to healing but new here and new-ish to taking responsibility for my healing rather than giving that to my T. Or at least trying to make her take it. So in this way I am empowering myself. Trusting myself to know the way .. but I will accept guidance from spirit and strive to recognize sages along this route. Trusting myself is not a given. A kind of tightrope walk to keep the trust, to feel deserving of trust, to be trust worthy. I have had many starts on this journey of healing and I acknowledge a positive change - which is huge in itself. But I also know that feeling of disconnection, alien-ness. I read today of a young woman being from pluto .. and sadly I relate. My holy grail is connection, connectedness. It is quite elusive for me; I feel it momentarily and lose it over and over again. A scared child running away, seized by terror. When I am not in that space it is hard to claim with much conviction. Yet when I am in that space I feel I have never felt differently. It is a recent phenomena to be able to know both can be true for me.
Twenty years on a quest. It seems unbelievable. Early on I met a woman 25 years in therapy and I dare say
I judged her insincerely engaged. I mean, really, who on earth could not complete a task - any task I thought - in that amount of time? And here I am poised to do just that. Unfathomable. Inconceivable. CRAP! how on earth could this be true for me (who has worked so hard for so long, sigh)? So now I venture to look in earnest at where in the world it is that I feel I NEED to go. I will attempt this feat but this time I hope to do so in the ever elusive "community". You are here, so I hear. So I believe … And as I put my hand in yours, we can do things we could never have imagined alone.. an echo from long ago days in ACA, I believe(though a quick google search did not pull anything similar)
Hello. Hello. Is there anybody out there?

Welcome to Pandys. I hope you find it as helpful and as wonderful as I do.

I also hope your journey will not be to painful rather insightful.

My journey has spanned 40 years only with on and off therapy. Some bad therapy some mediocre and some good. The good therapy just ended badly. So who knows what the answer is. I conclude it is just different for each person and the degree of the abuse and the degree of betrayal and pain.

Take good care of you.

November 2015

222324252627 28

Recent Entries

Recent Comments


Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.