Pandora's Aquarium: Stand Up - Pandora's Aquarium

I wonder how I ever trusted any men, and how I kept trying. I guess I was so desperate, and brushed off the assaults as "not that bad" or that "I deserved it." I do not deserve to be tackled from behind and throw into a fence or hit. That is physical abuse. Why did I not see it that way? Why did I take that? It makes me really angry. I have spent my whole life "taking it" and not standing up for myself because I think I'm a bad person and don't deserve to be stood up for. I want to feel good about myself. I think now I feel that I wouldn't take physical abuse. Why would I then? I won't minimize this. Why would I let someone do that to me? And why would those people that were my "friends" stand by? I'm so glad I'm in a completely different place now. I have a husband that truly cares about me and would never physically hurt me. Sometimes I just get so angry about how terribly I've treated myself throughout my whole life because I didn't think I deserved any better. I still do it now in some ways, my heavy drinking being one of them. I am no longer just going to take shit from men! I am onto a new decade in my life, and this is going to be the time when I start standing up for myself to all people. I have wasted so much time allowing myself to be trampled on, but not anymore.