Help
if any of you are in t for these issues, or have a good relationship with your MD, ask them to write a letter to the doc explaining you are a survivor, let them give it to you, (my t gave me the option of reading it before hand so i knew what was said) and you can take it in to your ob/gyn appt so if you don't feel comfortable telling them, then at least there is that explaining, so they know. i did this at first, and it helped enormously, the doc was very accomodating and gentle with me. i don't know if this will work for everyone, but yeah, just something i thought i might add.
mel
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Some Tips before you att your Gyno/Ob appt from Relaxation Chat 18/5/02
#32
Posted 13 June 2005 - 05:15 AM
SweetSangria, on Jun 13 2005, 02:57 AM, said:
if any of you are in t for these issues, or have a good relationship with your MD, ask them to write a letter to the doc explaining you are a survivor, let them give it to you, (my t gave me the option of reading it before hand so i knew what was said) and you can take it in to your ob/gyn appt so if you don't feel comfortable telling them, then at least there is that explaining, so they know. i did this at first, and it helped enormously, the doc was very accomodating and gentle with me. i don't know if this will work for everyone, but yeah, just something i thought i might add.
mel
mel
I hadn't thought about it, but that's an awesome idea. Will probably do that next time I have to go through that ordeal again. Last time i freaked out pretty good. :blink:/>
#33
- Trying, as best as I know how
- Group: Contributing Member
- Posts: 4,329
- Joined: 20-May 04
Posted 15 June 2005 - 10:57 PM
Boosted for fellow member
#34
- Trying, as best as I know how
- Group: Contributing Member
- Posts: 4,329
- Joined: 20-May 04
Posted 14 August 2005 - 12:26 AM
Something I found at the national center for post traumatic stress disorder entitled "PTSD Information for Women's Medical Providers:
http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/facts/specific/fs...le_primary.html
If you have the courage, it might be something worthwhile giving to your gynocologist. It lists things that they can do to make the exam better for surivivors.
survivor
http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/facts/specific/fs...le_primary.html
If you have the courage, it might be something worthwhile giving to your gynocologist. It lists things that they can do to make the exam better for surivivors.
survivor
#35
- Trying, as best as I know how
- Group: Contributing Member
- Posts: 4,329
- Joined: 20-May 04
Posted 07 September 2005 - 06:02 PM
Boosting for fellow member.
#36
- Child of the Light
- Group: Member
- Posts: 1,063
- Joined: 07-May 05
Posted 08 September 2005 - 06:54 AM
i have to have one of these tests done. I now have the option of having it done at the rape crisis center - yarrow place. I think i might do that, because i don't need to say anything, because being a rape and sexual assault service, they KNOW we are survivors, and deal primarily with survivors. so yeah, i didn't have that option before, and am VERY grateful for it, even tho i love my doc.
#37
- Child of the Light
- Group: Member
- Posts: 1,063
- Joined: 07-May 05
Posted 02 November 2005 - 06:11 AM
i backed out of the september appt pretty quickly. i don't think i am going to be able to back out of the one i need (see "yuck i don't want to do this" thread on "my life" forum for details) i have had smear tests, and they were hard enough. never a full pelvic. i don't want it. i don't really care who's doin it. doc or yarrow place. i just don't want anyone to touch me, esp. with what i remember. no one.
#38
Posted 13 January 2008 - 04:58 PM
I am going to a meet and greet with a new doctor. I have had such bad experiences with doctors in the past, but I know that I need a physical because I haven't had my period for two months. It is impossible for me to be pregnant, so I know there is something else going on. I have read all about pap smears and even seen videos. The whole idea of it makes me angry. Why does a doctor think they have any right to do that to someone? Besides, my grandma got all her physicals, they tortured her for years and she still died! I don't feel like subjecting myself to that kind of humiliation when it doesn't help anyway. I don't need two people I barely know staring at my crotch for fifteen minutes! I'd rather tell them all to f* off.
#39
Posted 13 January 2008 - 05:23 PM
painfullynumb, on May 20 2005, 01:33 AM, said:
so... i had to schedual an appointment to get on birth control... will i have to have a pap smear done or anything like that??? i might just cancel that appointment.
If you want to have a pap to get on birth control. Sorry.
#40
- Pollyjenna
- Group: Contributing Member
- Posts: 8,858
- Joined: 29-May 04
Posted 14 January 2008 - 12:05 AM
wunderkindlp, on Jan 13 2008, 05:58 PM, said:
. I don't need two people I barely know staring at my crotch for fifteen minutes! I'd rather tell them all to f* off.
I'm sorry for your past doctor issues, but I can tell you with confidence that a pelvic exam takes a lot less than fifteen minutes. It may seem like longer, but it's rather quick. I have had the same urge, and to be honest, the urge to kick the doctor before. Let us know if you need any "pocket riders," as I'm sure many of us will join you in spirit!
Take care,
Jennifer
#41
Posted 14 January 2008 - 11:00 AM
delete
This post has been edited by spamalot: 18 April 2010 - 02:25 AM
#42
Posted 27 November 2008 - 08:01 PM
i had the worst experience at the gyno about a year ago. i was filling out the paper work before hand and i gott really weird when it came to the abuse questions ( i was just beginning to question my experiences) and then when it came time for the exam the woman was so rough with the speculum that my vagina closed right up! it took 3 nurses 20 mins to get inside me. they asked me if i was a virgin! about half way thorough i started doing these breathing exercises (which totally triggered me) and i started sobbing, and i never cry in public. it was awful. afterwards the nurse gave me a card for a social worker.
i guess that's the kinda treatment you get when you go to the health department. my prior visit was just fine, but you never get the same dr. there.
i guess that's the kinda treatment you get when you go to the health department. my prior visit was just fine, but you never get the same dr. there.
#43
Posted 02 July 2009 - 08:39 AM
I recently went to a Gyno first time. As I am discharging a disgusting fishy discharge (thought it was BV but am thinking I might have a small tear between my anal/vaginal wall. As both Vagina and anus are leaking different discharges)
Anyway when I got there, he had a student with him. The girl was my age/perhaps a year or too younger and she was filling notes. I handed him my referal, he questioned me about what things I have done and I replied that I have had anal sex. He looked at me and said "Is this consentual?" I felt my face go red and I couldn't bring myself to say most of the time it wasn't. So I looked behind him and automatically said "Yes, we do it once a week."
I think he could see through me as he went on to give me a lecture on it being a homosexual practice. I thought he was going to exam me but he didn't just filled out a prescription and sent me on my way. The medication hasn't cleared up the problem so it looks like I'm going to make an appointment with him tomorrow.
Anyway when I got there, he had a student with him. The girl was my age/perhaps a year or too younger and she was filling notes. I handed him my referal, he questioned me about what things I have done and I replied that I have had anal sex. He looked at me and said "Is this consentual?" I felt my face go red and I couldn't bring myself to say most of the time it wasn't. So I looked behind him and automatically said "Yes, we do it once a week."
I think he could see through me as he went on to give me a lecture on it being a homosexual practice. I thought he was going to exam me but he didn't just filled out a prescription and sent me on my way. The medication hasn't cleared up the problem so it looks like I'm going to make an appointment with him tomorrow.
#44
Posted 31 January 2012 - 08:18 AM
ok...in order to understand...let me give you some backstory...
my first obgyn appt...
i was 17...i had just had my second ever period...due to severe anorexia, i had not had but one in my whole life...my then psychiatrist saw how it upset me and reccomended birth control...this was before i even "knew" i had been sa' d r'd. So i went...totally not knowing anything about my body or a gyn exam...the doc was nice, for her profession...she never complained about the black eye i gave her...and she spent over an hour and a half with me before, during and after the exam...
but despite her kindness i cant make myself go back...
when i was 23...i had my fourth period (due to anorexia i had been able to completely halt them till then)...i was at a DID treatment center...and had been there two or three days...it was supposed to be the best in the country (USA)...and omg! i freaked...they said i was too self destructive and that there was nothing they could do for any of my issues...if i was going to "let a natural bodily cycle rule my life)...of course the head psych there was a man...no surprise there.
so they left me in restraints for over 24 hours...which made thing worse...until my parents...who had just gotten back to ohio...after dropping me off...returned to take me home.
my psychologist...in ohio...suggested birth control
but...i couldnt just go to the pharmacy and get it...no...they make it hell...i had to have an appt...
i put it off for two years...each time i had the "monthly curse" i ended up in the ER with severe wrist slashing, carbon monoxide poisoning, od, it just went on and on...
finally i broke down and told a patient attendant that the blood was the trigger...and i would die if it didnt stop...
she "got it"...although my docs...even the good one...wrote it off as "just drama"...even though they supposedly understand DID, ptsd, abuse issues, triggers, etc...i guess this one is really abnormal?
i had no insurance so i made an appt at planned parenthood.
i went in filled out the paper...and was called back
i never made it to the exam room...
i walked into the hall...the nurse asked a few questions...
when was your last menstrual cycle?
are you s-xually active?
and...the clincher...have you ever been s-xually abused?
i lost it....
just started sobbing hysterically...and hyperventillating...and could not answer...
before anything bad could happen i left.
well...they had my phone number...
they called and i told them to lose my number...
now im 27...and if i calculate right....though my periods are never on a schedule...im due to "start" in a a little less than two weeks.
i have talked to a nice woman gynecologist...in the past month...via phone and letter...about options for birth control...
but she "needs to do an exam" before she goes through with the abdominal hysterectomy she has offered...
i really want the hysterectomy...
despite her (male) colleagues condemning her and telling her im too young and irrational to make a permanent decision...she and i and my psychiatrist as well as psychologist...not to mention my parents...all KNOW i will
(accidentally) kill myself if it doesnt stop.
she understands that even spotting will send me over the edge...so she doesnt want to waste all our time on pills, depo...the more common, less radical treatments.
and i vetoed ablation...essure, laparoscopic hysterectomy, etc...because they are done v-ginally...
even under general anesthesia...i dont want anyone touching me there...
so...i have an appt.
she promises that my first appt...or first two...will be in a neutral place...she suggested the coffee shop next to her office...
but...she explained that she needs to do at least an external pelvic exam and an ultrasound...and most likely get cultures...before she can (legally) proceed
and she got my records from the first...and last gyn
they were not able to get a "clean" swab because after 40 minutes all they managed was to inset a cotton swab...minus the speculum...why is that "not reliable"?
so...i have a coffee shop appt next monday...
she promised not to wear a lab coat...as it is a trigger for me...
and we are just gonna talk...
please please please help me...
i am absolutely terrified...
cant even read a lot of these posts...
oh..and i dont want kids...not bio...
and i dont have relations with anyone...
im a kinda as-xual homo romantic...
i guess...thats the best description...
if i have any attraction its to women
my first obgyn appt...
i was 17...i had just had my second ever period...due to severe anorexia, i had not had but one in my whole life...my then psychiatrist saw how it upset me and reccomended birth control...this was before i even "knew" i had been sa' d r'd. So i went...totally not knowing anything about my body or a gyn exam...the doc was nice, for her profession...she never complained about the black eye i gave her...and she spent over an hour and a half with me before, during and after the exam...
but despite her kindness i cant make myself go back...
when i was 23...i had my fourth period (due to anorexia i had been able to completely halt them till then)...i was at a DID treatment center...and had been there two or three days...it was supposed to be the best in the country (USA)...and omg! i freaked...they said i was too self destructive and that there was nothing they could do for any of my issues...if i was going to "let a natural bodily cycle rule my life)...of course the head psych there was a man...no surprise there.
so they left me in restraints for over 24 hours...which made thing worse...until my parents...who had just gotten back to ohio...after dropping me off...returned to take me home.
my psychologist...in ohio...suggested birth control
but...i couldnt just go to the pharmacy and get it...no...they make it hell...i had to have an appt...
i put it off for two years...each time i had the "monthly curse" i ended up in the ER with severe wrist slashing, carbon monoxide poisoning, od, it just went on and on...
finally i broke down and told a patient attendant that the blood was the trigger...and i would die if it didnt stop...
she "got it"...although my docs...even the good one...wrote it off as "just drama"...even though they supposedly understand DID, ptsd, abuse issues, triggers, etc...i guess this one is really abnormal?
i had no insurance so i made an appt at planned parenthood.
i went in filled out the paper...and was called back
i never made it to the exam room...
i walked into the hall...the nurse asked a few questions...
when was your last menstrual cycle?
are you s-xually active?
and...the clincher...have you ever been s-xually abused?
i lost it....
just started sobbing hysterically...and hyperventillating...and could not answer...
before anything bad could happen i left.
well...they had my phone number...
they called and i told them to lose my number...
now im 27...and if i calculate right....though my periods are never on a schedule...im due to "start" in a a little less than two weeks.
i have talked to a nice woman gynecologist...in the past month...via phone and letter...about options for birth control...
but she "needs to do an exam" before she goes through with the abdominal hysterectomy she has offered...
i really want the hysterectomy...
despite her (male) colleagues condemning her and telling her im too young and irrational to make a permanent decision...she and i and my psychiatrist as well as psychologist...not to mention my parents...all KNOW i will
(accidentally) kill myself if it doesnt stop.
she understands that even spotting will send me over the edge...so she doesnt want to waste all our time on pills, depo...the more common, less radical treatments.
and i vetoed ablation...essure, laparoscopic hysterectomy, etc...because they are done v-ginally...
even under general anesthesia...i dont want anyone touching me there...
so...i have an appt.
she promises that my first appt...or first two...will be in a neutral place...she suggested the coffee shop next to her office...
but...she explained that she needs to do at least an external pelvic exam and an ultrasound...and most likely get cultures...before she can (legally) proceed
and she got my records from the first...and last gyn
they were not able to get a "clean" swab because after 40 minutes all they managed was to inset a cotton swab...minus the speculum...why is that "not reliable"?
so...i have a coffee shop appt next monday...
she promised not to wear a lab coat...as it is a trigger for me...
and we are just gonna talk...
please please please help me...
i am absolutely terrified...
cant even read a lot of these posts...
oh..and i dont want kids...not bio...
and i dont have relations with anyone...
im a kinda as-xual homo romantic...
i guess...thats the best description...
if i have any attraction its to women
#45
Posted 31 January 2012 - 09:07 AM
ok...update...my friend...the woman i have a crush on...she just called to invite me on a "date"
i was an idiot and broke down and spilled all this and sent her the post i just made...
freaky thing is...
she wants to go with me to gyno!
aaaack...
i really dont want her to see me at my worst/lowest/ most frightened, etc
but...does it help... to have a friend with you?
i was an idiot and broke down and spilled all this and sent her the post i just made...
freaky thing is...
she wants to go with me to gyno!
aaaack...
i really dont want her to see me at my worst/lowest/ most frightened, etc
but...does it help... to have a friend with you?
