Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.
You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.
So since I'm not doing anything tonight, I thought now would be a good time to reflect on what happened on past Halloweens.
October 30, 2009 was the night I went to a house to watch horror movies with my friends. Female friends A and AG were there, and I trusted AG to drive me home safely. Male friends Will, Kevin, and a couple others were there, at Kevin's house. I hate horror movies, so I wanted to get really drunk to watch them. I payed for a bottle of smirnoff and a bottle of pucker. I shared a little bit with whoever wanted some, but mostly I think I just drank out of the bottles. From what I can remember I finished most of the pucker and maybe a few swigs of vodka.
My memory disappears for most of the movie, except the beginning, a scene that they made us all watch, and the ending. I think I was outside smoking cigarettes most of the time. After the movie, I was outside smoking with Kevin. He asked me if I wanted to go into his room and makeout, and I said okay.
I remember kissing him in his mattress on the floor. I think I freaked out when heavy petting started. I said "you only like me when I'm drunk" and ran out the door. I grabbed AG and literally ran out the front door to her car.
The weird thing about this night, is that it was the first one where I was blackout drunk. I remember getting in AG's car, and trying to give her my ID and debit card for gas, but the ride home was a blur and I can barely remember going in the door to my building. I remember I couldn't work my keys in the door so I just sat in front of it.
The next day AG told me that she had called me at that point. I was on the phone with her when some guy in my building helped me unlock my door. For the life of me I have no memory of this neighbor, but she heard him on the phone. AG made sure I was alone when I got inside my apartment, and I know that nothing happened because I woke up in all my clothes and glasses, with stains of vomit from my hoodie strings that proved it hadn't been removed.
I had a horrible hangover that lasted the whole day. I was planning to go to a party that night. This is the Halloween I dressed like Alex from Clockwork Orange. By the time night came, I started feeling better. I went out to my friend's party and took the drinking really slow that night. I met up with AG and some of her friends that night to walk around the city.
That's all I can really remember... I don't know how significant this is, but it definitely marked the beginning of a hard, hard season.
0 Comments On This Entry
on Dec 09 2012 05:49 PM
Just a cry for help.
on Dec 08 2012 11:09 PM
on Nov 01 2012 01:51 AM
My fiance said he wants to take me shopping for pretty new clothes...
on Oct 25 2012 09:54 PM
Gifted and Talented
on Oct 17 2012 04:13 PM