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My Mother

Posted by anelisa , in Sexual Assault, Anxiety, Family Issues 22 April 2014 · 100 views

As all of you know, April is Sexual Assault Awareness month.
Because of this, I share my video on Facebook on Friday and Saturday nights.
Today I got a message from my mom:
I'm trying to figure out a nice way to say this, but I really dont know how. I'm genuinely concerned about your mental health. way you keep reposting that stuff over and over, makes you seem desperate for attention or completely psycho. What are you trying to prove? Posting once or twice fine, but repeatedly? Everyday? I love you and I'm telling you that something is wrong with your thought process. If you need help, don't be afraid to ask for it, I'm here. But I'm asking you to please stop. I'm worried about you:-(
You aren't thinking logically. If you need help, get it. I'm all for it and I'll support you in whatever way I can
I'm worried that you are messing up your whole future. I only want good things for you.
It really upset me...I don't even know what to say. I guess I'm looking for someone to explain to me in a better way what she's trying to say because this was just hurtful to me. I don't see how this will ruin my future or makes me psycho or attention hungry.

Wow I cannot speak for your mother but I can about my mother and my daughter.  They both would say something similar to me if I posted CSA and/or SA things on my Facebook page (if I had one I would).


My mother and my daughter would be saying it more from their need to keep secret the "shameful thing" that was done to me.  They would find it embarrassing if anyone were to ask them about my postings.  They do not want to hear about what happened to me.  I think in my mother's case it is guilt for not protecting me or knowing about it in the first place.  I think in my daughter's  case is that she truly loves me and does not want to think about what was done to her mother.


I don't  if this helps. 


Just because you are emotionally in pain from what happened to you does not make you some crazy obsessed person.  Our pasts, it is what it is, painful and debilitating and yes it does affect our now and our futures.  Healing just helps us onto a less painful path for the future.


I sincerely hope that some of the sentences your mother wrote were not exactly what she meant such as your mental processing is wrong and that you are messing up your future.  Those statements are not true.  What happened to you has interrupted your life.  The abuser is the one at fault for your actions today and tomorrow as you try to heal.  There is no blame attached to you it is all the abusers.


I wish I knew some advice in dealing with your mother over this.  Just please take good care of you first.  Your are worth the healing journey and if that healing includes posting things on your Facebook page then that is what you do.

Short on words. I'm sorry your mum can't accept what happened to you. You must do what feels right and acceptable to you. I hear your voice, and it is acceptable to me. Take gentle care, Mand

August 2015

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